THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


EOLOPOESIS. 


AMERICAN 


REJECTED    ADDRESSES 


NOW    FIRST    PUBLISHED 


FROM  THE   ORIGINAL  MANUSCRIPTS. 


NEW   YORK: 

J.  C.  DERBY,  119  NASSAU    STREET. 
BOSTON:  PHILLIPS,  SAMPSON,  &  CO. 
CINCINNATI:  H.  W.  DERBY. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress  in  the  year  1855,  by 

J.    C.   DERBY, 

In  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  United  States,  for  the 
Southern  District  of  New  York. 


ro 


TO  THE  DIRECTORS  OF  THE  NEW  YORK 
CRYSTAL  PALACE. 


GENTLEMEN  :  — 

When  the  transparent  roof  of  your  enchanted 
castle  first  invited  the  sun's  rays  to  descend  on  its 
miracles  of  art  and  its  electrified  spectators,  it  was 
understood  that  the  votaries  of  literature,  in  common 
with  cultivators  of  the  various  arts,  were  about  to 
find  shelter  in  the  shadow  of  your  protecting  wings. 
An  excitement,  perhaps  not  observed  by  you,  but  in 
truth  scarcely  paralleled  in  the  history  of  popular 
sensations,  sprang  up  among  those  who  cater  super 
fluities  for  the  world's  fickle  palate.  Sculptors, 
painters,  and  confectioners  ;  musicians,  apothecaries, 
authors  and  mousetrap  manufacturers,  saw  their 
coming  glory  in  your  magnificent  foreshadowings. 

Ambubaiarum  collegia,  pharmacopolse, 
Mendici,  mimce,  balatrones,  hoc  genus  omne. 

(3) 


80196: 


4  DEDICATION. 

Rumor,  with  her  hundred  tongues,  announced  that  a 
mysterious  prize,  in  the  form  of  a  castle,  wrought 
from  a  solid  nugget  of  Californian  gold,  was  to  be 
adjudged  to  the  author  of  the  best  poem  submitted 
to  the  ordeal  of  your  critical  eyes.  Untrammelled  by 
the  confines  usually  allotted  on  the  occasion  of  an 
opening  or  closing  address,  the  happy  candidates 
were  left  free  as  air  to  select  subjects  in  which  they 
felt  themselves  most  competent  to  shine. 

As  the  announcement  of  a  vacant  office  brings 
down  an  avalanche  of  hungry  aspirants,  so  did  the 
promulgation  of  this  news  dart  hope,  activity,  and 
sunshine  into  multitudes  of  desolate  garrets.  Un 
numbered  pens  at  once  went  down  into  inkhorns,  and 
the  Muses  got  a  holocaust  of  sleepless  nights  and 
days.  Eyes  rolled  in  fine  frenzies,  reams  of  paper 
were  blotted,  interlined,  and  transcribed,  and  the 
number  of  stanzas  which  the  world  had  to  boast 
underwent  a  marked  statistical  augmentation. 

Judge,  then,  of  our  consternation,  when  we  first 
learned  that  our  sunshine  was  moonshine,  and  that 
you  had  apparently  been  deceiving  us  all  for  your 
own  selfish  and  unjustifiable  purposes.  It  was  some 
time  before  we  could  control  our  exasperated  feelings ; 


DEDICATION.  5 

>  «* 

and  when  at  length  an  indignation  meeting  was 
called  of  the  aggrieved  parties,  without  distinction 
of  rank,  resolutions  were  passed  of  unusual  spirit, 
redounding  considerably  to  your  shame  and  disad 
vantage.  It  was  at  once  determined  by  many  of  us 
to  throw  our  priceless  productions  into  a  joint  stock 
concern,  and  to  stereotype  them  on  our  own  account, 
not  doubting  that  the  public  would  accord  to  us  more 
fame  and  emolument,  than  those  which  your  niggardly 
fingers  have  withheld. 

We  are  not  sorry  to  find  that  retribution  has 
overtaken  you  in  the  rapid  decadence  which  is  now 
the  only  distinction  left  to  your  ill-managed  and 
disastrous  concern.  If  any  thing  could  have  saved 
you,  it  would  have  been  the  brilliant  success  and  the 
unlimited  attraction  attending  a  combined  effort  of 
all  the  poetical  talent  of  the  country.  And  it  must 
add  to  your  mortification  to  know,  that,  in  our 
individual  and  collective  opinion,  the  poems  here 
published  are  considerably  superior  to  any  thing  we 
have  before  written. 

Your  obedient  and  injured  servants, 

THE    AUTHORS. 


CONTENTS. 


LINES    WEITTEN   AT    CHICAGO. 

BY  F.   0.   H 11 

ADDRESS  TO  A  BOOKWOEM. 

BY  w.  c.  B.  .    .    . 21 

BLOUZELINDA,  A  HEXAMETEE  ROMANCE. 

BY   H.    W.    L 31 

To  A  TADPOLE. 

BY    0.    \V.    H 51 

EMPORIUM  YERSUS  NEW  YORK. 

BY    Q.    E.    D 63 

THE  UNSEEN. 

BY   E.    "W.    E 73 

THE  SPIKIT  RAPPEES  TO  THEIR  MEDIUMS. 

BY   J.    K.    L 87 

THE  CEOCKEET  MAKERS. 

BY   T.    B.    B 127 

(7) 


8  CONTENTS. 

To  CEEITO. 

BY  a.  i< 137 

THE  SONG  OF  THE  BLACKSMITHS. 

BY  J.    G.    W 143 

THE  POET  IN  THE  EAST. 

BY  B,  T 151 

THE  SONG  OF  THE  STEAMEE. 

BY  j.  G.  s 157 

BAEBAEA  ALLEN. 

BY   N.    P.    W 169 

A  WALL  STEEET  ECLOGUE. 

BY  T.  w.  P 185 

THE  AMEEICAN  CONGEESS. 

BY  G.  TV.  B .    .    .    .193 

AN  INDIGNATION  MEETING. 

BY  THE  COMPANY •    •    .    .  203 


NOTES, 216 


forittoi  at 


(9) 


Brave  men  busily  changing  every  day, — going  ahead  with 
high  pressure  force,  —  all  Americanized,  all  galvanized  with 
the  same  frantic  energy.  The  popuktion  rush  about  on  their 
different  occupations,  —  railway  engines  screaming,  steamboats 
puffing  on  every  side ;  wagons  rattle,  men  swear,  bargain,  and 
invite  you  to  their  hotels,  in  the  accents  of  half  a  dozen 
countries. 

WARBURTON. 


(10) 


LINES  WRITTEN  AT   CHICAGO. 

BY   F.    G.    H. 

TTOME  of  the  Indian's  wild-born  race, 

The  stalwart  and  the  brave, 
Alike  their  camp  and  hunting  place, 

Their  battle  field  and  grave  ; 
"Where  late  gigantic  warriors  stood 
As  thick  as  pine  trees  in  the  wood, 

Or  snipes  on  Jersey  shore  ; 
"  Tecumseh,"  "  Beaver,"  and  "  Split  Log," 
And  "  Keokuk,"  and  "  Horned  Frog," 
Ind  "  Blackhawk,"  "Wolf,"  and  "Yelping Dog," 
And  "Possum  Tail,"  and  " Polly wog," 

And  many  hundred  more  ; 


12  LINES  WRITTEN  AT  CHICAGO. 


Where  to  repel  their  fierce  attack 
Fort  Dearborn  reared  across  their  track 

Its  log-constructed  walls  ; 
For  forty  years  these  fronts  of  wood 
The  tempest  and  the  foe  withstood, 
And  many  a  night  of  fire  and  flood 
The  dauntless  garrison  made  good  — 

Their  supper  in  its  halls. 

Expanding  far  to  left  and  right 
Thy  prairies  stretch  beyond  the  sight 

Their  never-ending  sea, 
Amid  whose  wastes  of  soil  and  sand 
The  traveller  out  of  sight  of  land 
May  die  (if  nothing  comes  to  hand) 

Of  hunger  or  ennui. 
Far  rolls  the  interminable  glade, 
Without  one  friendly  tree  for  shade 

To  break  the  general  trance  ; 
With  nothing  distant,  nothing  near, 


LINES  WRITTEN  AT  CHICAGO.        13 


Nothing  to  which  the  eye  may  steer, 
Save  one  eternal  blank  and  drear 
Monotonous  expanse. 

Green  grass  is  waving  in  the  wind, 

O'ertopped  by  greener  weeds, 
And  agues  peep  from  every  leaf, 

That  he  may  run  that  reads  ; 
And  flowerets  fresh,  of  many  a  hue, 
Scarlet  and  white,  and  pink  and  blue, 

Exhale  a  rich  perfume  ; 
And  dazzling  tints  and  outlines  true, 
Mellowed  and  mixed,  bring  back  to  view  • 

The  carpet  of  my  room. 

On  distant  hills,  of  soaring  height, 

A  thousand  miles  away, 
Gay  rivulets  fall,  and  fountains  bright, 
And  torrents  plunge  and  flash  to  light, 

And  foam  in  quivering  spray  ;  • 


14  LINES  WRITTEN  AT  CHICAGO. 


But  here,  dead  level  banks  among, 
With  current  neither  swift  nor  strong, 
And  color  greatly  like  souchong, 
The  lazy  creeklet  soaks  along 
Its  mud-encumbered  way. 

I've  travelled  on  this  miry  road, 

In  luckless  days  of  yore, 
When  its  half-conscious  living  load 

The  lumbering  stage  coach  bore ; 
And  when  they  groaned  and  prayed  for  sleep, 
And  struggled  hard  their  seats  to  keep, 

And  bounced  against  the  door, 
The  carriage  made  a  sudden  stand, 
The  driver  lashed  his  four  in  hand, 
One  general  scream  was  uttered,  —  and 
Down  sank  the  disappearing  band  :  — 

I  never  saw  them  more. 

And- yet  your  prairie  has  its  use, 
As  I  proceed  to  show, 


LINES    WRITTEN    AT    CHICAGO.  15 


For  where  the  soil  is  ten  feet  deep 

The  ten-foot  corn  will  grow  ; 
And  when  the  speculators  came 

And  talked  of  a  canal, 
And  got  their  grants  and  proved  their  claim 

From  Dearborn  to  La  Salle, 
Then  rushed  the  emigrating  train, 
And  Dutch  and  Irish  poured  like  rain, 
And  sharp  Downeasters  thronged  amain, 
And  wagons  jostled  on  the  plain, 

Like  coaches  in  Pall  Mall. 

Then,  as  beneath  th'  enchanter's  wand, 

A  populous  city  sprang, 
And  words  and  blows  on  every  hand 

In  clattering  concert  rang  ; 
A  thousand  axes  fell  like  hail, 
3.  thousand  hammers  urged  the  nail, 
And  handsaws  told  their  screeching  tale, 

To  swell  the  general  roar. 


16      LINES  WRITTEN  AT  CHICAGO. 


Squatters  and  settlers  pressed  ahead, 
Nor  stopped,  nor  slept,  nor  went  to  bed, 

Nor  once  the  work  gave  o'er, 
Till  streets  and  squares  stood  forth  to  view, 
And  houses  rose,  —  and  house  lots,  too, 

A  hundred  fold  and  more. 

I  stood  upon  the  cupola 

Of  the  Tremont  Hotel ; 
I  saw  the  domes  before  me  rise, 

The  lake  behind  me  swell  ; 
I  thought  upon  the  by-gone  days, 
When  nature  wore  a  different  phase, 

And  man  a  different  skin  ; 
And  stretching  far  through  plain  and  swamp 
I  saw  the  Indian's  fiery  camp, 
And  heard  the  buffalo's  marching  tramp, 
And  felt  the  mammoth's  earthquake  stamp, 

And  all  that  once  had  been. 


LINES    WRITTEN    AT    CHICAGO.  17 


A  sudden  change  came  o'er  my  dream  ; 
I  must  have  waked,  and  dropped  my  theme, 
For  ships  and  cars,  in  fire  and  steam, 

Begirt  the  horizon  round  ; 
Tall  houses  rose,  with  shops  in  front, 
And  bricks,  piled  up  as  bricks  are  wont, 

In  cloud-capped  turrets  frowned  ; 
And  through  the  living,  boiling  throng 
Thundered  a  thousand  carts  along, 
And  railroads  howled  their  shrieking  song 

Across  the  groaning  ground. 

Chicago !  thou  shalt  shine  in  verse, 

As  my  adopted  pet ; 
Thou  newest  slice  of  this  new  world,  — 

Save  what  is  newer  yet. 
Thy  structures  seem  of  yesterday, 
And  shine  like  scenery  in  the  play 

Just  pushed  upon  the  stage. 
The  oldest  native  in  the  place, 
2 


18  LINES  WKITTEN  AT  CHICAGO. 


Amidst  the  thronging,  motley  race, 
Is  a  young  girl,  all  bloom  and  grace, 
Just  eighteen  years  of  age. 

I've  sought  in  vain  for  something  old, 
Some  crumbling  stone  with  moss  and  mould, 
Some  tottering  arch  in  proud  decay, 
Some  dungeon  vault  shut  off  from  day, 
Some  slab  with  unknown  ciphers  traced, 
Some  choice  bijou  of  antique  taste, 

But  could  not  find  the  thing. 
There's  nothing  old  but  lake  and  mud, 
And  these  date  back  beyond  the  flood. 
Yet  even  the  lake  is  youthful  now, 
No  wrinkles  on  its  azure  brow 

The  signs  of  dotage  bring  ; 
And  the  old  mud,  whose  depths  began 
Before  the  memory  of  man, 

Seems  newer  every  spring. 


10  a 


(19) 


All  in  a  college  study, 

Where  books  were  in  great  plenty, 
This  rat  would  devour 
More  sense  in  an  hour 

Than  I  could  write  in  twenty. 

Corporeal  food,  'tis  granted, 

Serves  vermin  less  refined,  sir, 
But  this,  a  rat  of  taste, 
All  other  rats  surpassed, 

For  he  preyed  on  the  food  of  the  mind,  sir. 

SHENSTONE. 

(20) 


ADDRESS  TO  A  BOOKWORM. 


BY  W.    C.   B. 

"Fl  AIR  insect,  that  with  microscopic  jaws, 
•*-  And  planted  legs,  dost  eat  thy  tardy  way, 
Making  deep  havoc  in  my  shelves  and  drawers, 
And  turning  sense  to  dust,  by  night  and  day, 
Sapping  a  solemn  creed  with  sturdy  bore, 
And  sinking  shafts  in  patriarchal  lore,  — 

Fair  insect,  on  thy  advent  to  my  room, 
I  hail  thee  in  the  fulness  of  delight  ; 

I  will  not  chase  thee  out  with  brush  and  broom, 
But  let  thee  choose  thy  literary  bite. 

(21) 


22  ADDRESS  TO  A  BOOKWORM. 


I  greet  thee  for  the  service  thou  hast  done.  — 
The  world  needs  scavengers,  and  thou  art  one. 

Come  with  thy  comrades,  —  see  thou  bring'st 

enough,  — 

I'll  close  a  contract  with  thy  mining  corps 
For  one  deep  cut  through  hills  of  trashy  stuff, 

Through  reams  of  verse  and  novels  by  the  score. 
Couldst  thou  but  eat  them  all,  thou'dst  take  thy 

place 
With  benefactors  of  the  human  race. 

But  thou'rt  a  gourmand  of  a  nice  degree, 

And  thy  fastidious  palate  knows  what's  what ; 

Eomans  and  Celts  have  catered  bits  for  thee  ; 
Thou  din'st  with  Horace,  and  thou  supp'st  with 
Scott ; 

Wit,  science,  song,  philosophy,  and  law 

Regale,  by  turns,  thy  cultivated  maw. 


ADDRESS  TO  A  BOOKWORM.  23 


Terraqueous  maps  are  a  bonne  bouche  to  thee, 
If  all  be  true  that  Shenstone  strove  to  utter  ; 

And  seas  and  rivers  are  thy  dish  of  tea, 
And  kingdoms  fall  to  make  thy  bread  and  butter, 

And  mighty  continents  are  swallowed  up, 

And  oceans  fail,  because  thou  needs  must  sup. 

A  pious  sermon  is  thy  Sunday's  meal, 

That  feeds  thy  appetite  with  doctrine  sound, 

And  crumbs  of  comfort,  such  as  saints  might  steal, 
Are  but  thy  entremets  in  unction  browned  ; 

And  tougher  dogmas,  which  thou  canst  not  follow, 

Are  left  behind  for  aged  dames  to  swallow. 

Thy  hungry  stomach  can  digest  the  laws 

As  well  as  any  counsellor  himself ; 
And  he  that's  looking  after  legal  flaws 

Had  better  dog  thy  course  along  the  shelf, 
Where  constitutions,  broken  every  day, 

Attest  the  havoc  of  thy  greedy  way. 


24  ADDRESS  TO  A  BOOK  WORM. 


"Why  wilt  thou  spoil  such  valuable  lore, 
When  cheaper  food  may  easily  be  found  ? 

My  papers  of  exchange,  a  goodly  store, 
Are  at  thy  service,  open  and  unbound  : 

Thou'lt  find  them  spicy,  savory,  tart,  and  new, 

And  stuffed  with  tales  incredible,  yet  true. 

What  say'st  thou,  slanderer  ?  —  lies  make  thee 
sick, 

And  editorial  prosings  turn  thy  brain  ; 
And  patriotic  twaddle,  all  too  thick, 

Distends  thy  stomach  with  a  windy  pain  ; 
And  foreign  correspondence,  tome  on  tome, 
Is  what  the  printer's  devil  cooks  at  home  ? 

On  public  dinners  thou  disdain'st  to  dine, 
And,  parched  with  thirst,  declin'st  to  pledge  a 
toast. 

Such  things  go  down  with  sillier  throats  than  thine, 
But  thou,  —  teetotal  temperance  is  thy  boast ; 


ADDRESS  TO  A  BOOKVTORM.  25 


And  dinner  speeches,  trimmed  with  loud  applause, 
Destroy  thy  relish  and  fatigue  thy  jaws. 

Thou  art  no  cannibal,  else  thou  might'st  eat 
Ten  thousand  Turks  and  Russians  at  a  meal ; 

And  fifteen  hundred  Frenchmen  for  a  treat 
Be  served  in  gunpowder  and  skewered  with 
steel ; 

And  if  thy  appetite  should  prove  unbounded, 

Might'st  bolt  a  bulletin  of  killed  and  wounded. 

We  offer  thee  a  dainty  bill  of  fare  — 
Reports  of  speeches,  controversies,  news, 

Opponents  roasted,  rivals  done  up  rare, 
And  squibs,  in  which  the  devil  gets  his  dues, 

Tidbits  of  scandal,  repartees  polite, 

And  indignation  meetings  called  at  sight. 

Wilt  thou  not  bite  at  such  attractive  bait  ? 
Then  try  the  lighter  portions  of  our  feast  — 


26  ADDRESS  TO  A  BOOK  WORM. 


Approving  puffs,  according  to  the  price, 

And  saintly  characters  of  knaves  deceased  ; 
Light,  windy  speeches,  ladies'  dear-bought  jewels, 
Denned  positions  and  expected  duels. 

All  things  are  done  by  clamor  in  these  days  — 
By  talking,  bragging,  advertising,  puffing 

Handbills,  stump  speeches,  circulars  of  praise  ; 
Our  gaping  age  can  hardly  hold  the  stuffing  : 

One  keg  of  ink  one  volume  finds  enough  — 

It  takes  two  kegs,  at  least,  to  sell  the  stuff. 

Spur  up,  thou  laggard  ;  printing  gains  on  thee, 
And  books  are  made  much  faster  than  con 
sumed  ; 

I  greatly  wonder  what  the  world  will  be 
When  modern  Herculaneums  are  exhumed. 

They  say  papyrus  turns  to  Bovey  coal ; 

Think  then  of  Harper's  mine  and  Astor's  hole. 


ADDRESS  TO  A  BOOKWOKM.  27 


I  want  a  use  for  undemanded  books, 

Such  as  are  published,  not  to  read,  but  sell  — 

Editions  large  worked  off  by  hooks  or  crooks, 
When  blocks  and  stones  would  answer  just  as 
well. 

They  go  by  cart  loads  to  the  east  and  west, 

And  sinks  and  bakers'  ovens  know  the  rest. 

I've  told  the  builders  in  Fifth  Avenue, 
Who  run  up  palaces  for  tradesmen  fat, 

That  literature  is  now  upholstery  too, 

And  books  are  made  for  furniture  —  that's  flat. 

I'd  sell  them  by  the  perch  to  introduce 

Some  stylish,  new,  and  ornamental  use. 

If  books,  like  bricks,  in  mortar  could  be  laid, 
A"  modern  Athens  might  be  raised  at  once  ; 

And  learned  walls  would  cast  their  classic  shade, 
Even  though  the  unconscious  tenant  were  a 
dunce ; 


ADDRESS  TO  A  BOOKWORM. 


And  solid  alcoves  might  be  formed,  excusing 
Their  owner  from  all  duty  of  perusing. 

But  books  are  hardly  fire  proof,  even  in  lime, 
And  paper's  quite  combustible,  'tis  said. 

Well,  get  this  library  insured  in  time  ; 
I  once  insured  one  against  being  read, 

And  no  disturbance  broke  the  calm  profound, 

Save  once  a  month,  when  Betty's  brush  went  round. 

Faustus  invented  printing,  and  men  think 
The  devil  helped  him  at  his  wicked  job, 

Counting  on  future  use  of  types  and  ink 
As  hooks  to  catch  the  unsuspecting  mob. 

But  here  he  missed  it.     These  our  home-bred 
Turks 

Eschew  his  Satanship  —  and  all  his  works. 


Romance. 


(29) 


Fuggi  tutta  la  notte,  e  tutto  il  giorno 
Erro  senza  consiglio  e  senza  guida, 
Non  udendo  o  vedendo  altro  d'  intorno 
Che  le  lagrime  sue,  che  le  sue  strida. 

Cibo  non  prende  gi& ;  che  de'  suoi  mail 
Solo  si  pasce,  e  sol  di  pianto  ha  sete. 

Ne  per6  cessa  Amor  con  varie  forme 
La  sua  pace  turbar  mentr'  ella  dorme. 

TASSO. 

(30) 


BLOUZELINDA. 

A  HEXAMETER  ROMANCE, 

BY  H.  W.  L. 


CANTO  I. 

"N  the  far  down  east,  on  the  drizzly  shores  of  Pe- 


Among  pine  trees,  lay  the  little  village  of  Mudfog  ; 
An  upstart  place,  grown  out  of  a  Yankee  loca 
tion, 
Inhabited  mostly  by  squatters  mingled  with  In- 

Mb 

dians, 
Who  chopped  down  trees  and  built  log  houses  and 

wigwams, 
And  subsisted  chiefly  on  fish,  potatoes,  &c. 

(31) 


32  BLOUZELINDA. 


Among  them  were  some  who  took  their  guns  in 

the  morning, 
And  went  to  the  forest  to  shoot  coons,  rabbits,  and 

woodchucks, 
Which  they  brought  home  at  night  to  cheer  their 

supperless  spouses. 
And  some  played  possum,  and  took  themselves  to 

the  grog  shop, 
Where  they  called  for  whiskey,  and  drank  gin 

sling  till  they  got  drunk, 
Then  staggered  home  late  to  abuse  their  wives  and 

their  children. 

A  jolly  old  cobbler  lived  just  in  the  edge  of  the 

clearing, 
Who  mended  old  shoes  till  he  made  them  equal  to 

new  ones, 
And  by  common  consent  shod  most  of  the  people 

in  Mudfog. 
The  boys  gathered  round  him  to  see  him  hammer 

his  lapstone, 


BLOUZELINDA.  33 


And  blessed  their  stars  that  he  didn't  serve  them 

in  the  same  way, 
And  thought  best  to  keep  good  terms  with  Crispy 

the  cobbler. 

One  daughter  he  had,  a  buxom  young  lass,  about 

nineteen, 
With  corn-fed  cheeks,  light  hair,  and  eyes  like  a 

weasel, 
Who  knew  how  to  churn,  milk  cows,  make  butter 

and  hoe  cakes, 
And  waxed  long  threads,  also  stitched  up  soles  for 

the  old  man. 

And  many  young  swains  who  lived  in  the  neigh 
boring  houses, 

And  many  young  Indians  who  had  no  houses  to 
live  in, 

Came    day   after   day   to  woo   the  fair  Blouze- 
linda, 

3 


34  BLOUZELINDA. 


And  hung  round  the  door,  and  poured  their  sighs 

to  the  east  wind  ; 
But  she  was  as  cold  as  the  snows  on  the  top  of 

Katahdin, 
And  laughed  at  their  sighs,  and  tossed  her  delicate 

nose  up, 
And  vowed  she  would  wed  no  man  but  Solomon 

Wheelwright. 

Now  Sol   Wheelwright,  I  regret  to  say,  was  a 

rowdy, 
Who  played  all  fours  and  kept  late  hours  at  the 

grog  shop, 
And  forgetting  his  debts  and  the  girl  he  had  just 

got  engaged  to, 
He  left  Mudfog,  made  a  slope,  and  went  off  to 

Texas. 

Poor  Blouzy  looked  forth  from  her  usual  seat  in 
the  window, 


BLOUZELINDA.  35 


And  saw  his  coat  tail  as  it  turned  the  farthermost 

corner ; 
And  when  she  made  signs  by  tearing  her  hair  out 

by  handfuls, 
Sol  coolly  looked  backward,  and  placed  his  thumb 

on  his  nose  point. 

Then  various  opinions  at  once  broke  forth  in  the 

village ; 
Some  boldly  affirmed  that  they  thought  Sol  ought 

to  be  talked  to  ; 
On  the   contrary,   others  declared  it  was  good 

enough  for  her. 

Lone,  sad,  loved,  and  left  was  then  the  fair  Blouze- 
linda ; 

Her  cows  went  unmilked  and  her  hoe  cakes  burned 
in  the  bake  pan, 

And  she  wandered  about  like  a  person  nearly  dis 
tracted, 


36  BLOUZELINDA. 

And  seemed  to  be  pondering  on  something  sudden 
and  dreadful ; 

And  at  length,  one  day,  when  Crispy  got  up  in  the 
morning, 

And  came  down  stairs  just  at  six,  expecting  his 
breakfast, 

The  cage  door  was  open,  and  lo,  the  bird  had  de 
parted. 

A  sad  man  at  heart  was  then  poor    Crispy  the 

cobbler  ; 
And  he  caught  up  his  hammer  and  beat  his  bench 

with  excitement, 
And  entertained  thoughts  which  seemed  for  a  time 

suicidal, 
And  instinctively  twisted  a  small  round  cord  made 

of  waxed  thread. 
But  at  length  he  got  cool,  and  determined  to  take 

a  short  walk  first, 
And  go  down  to  the  wharf  and  inquire  for  news 

of  his  daughter,  — 


BLOUZELINDA.  37 


When  up  jumped  an  Irishman  dressed  in  the  garb 

of  a  Jack  Tar  — 
"  An't  plase  your  honor,  if  it's  jist  the  young  lady 

you're  seekin', 
Ye'll  find  her  aboard  the  big  ship  that  has  sailed 

for  New  Orleans." 


CANTO    II. 

WHEN  New  Orleans  was  less  of  a  place  than  it 

now  is, 
There  arrived  one  morning  a  lumber  brig  from  the 

eastward, 
And  a  girl  hopped  ashore  without  any  bonnet  or 

shawl  on, 
Anti  asked  the  Creoles  if  they  knew  one  Solomon 

Wheelwright. 
Then  the  good  Creoles,  when  they  saw  her  state 

of  confusion, 


38  BLOUZELINDA. 


Took  pity  upon  her,  and  asked  her  a  number  of 

questions  ; 
And  having  done  this  they  gave  her  a  number  of 

answers. 
One  said  he  had  seen  a  young  man  just  like  the 

description 
Who  was  coaxed  one  night  to  enlist,  while  drunk, 

for  a  soldier, 
And  then  was  marched  off  next  day  to  fight  the 

Camanches. 
Another  knew  Sol  as  well  as  he  knew  his  own 

father, 
And  had  seen  him  set  off  the  night  before  in  a  flat 

boat, 

To  peddle  out  trash  among  the  settlers  and  In 
dians. 

Then  Blouzy  leaped  up,  and  said,  "  Now,  Sol,  I 

have  caught  you  ; " 
And  she  made  tracks  fast  for  the  far-off  country 

of  Indians, 


BLOUZELINDA.  39 


And  travelled  alone  through  swamps,  woods,  jun 
gles  and  prairies. 

All  day  she  marched  in  the  burning  rays  of  tho 
hot  sun  ; 

All  night  she  slept  on  the  damp,  cold  couch  of  the 
bare  ground. 

Sometimes  she  didn't  get  any  thing  to  eat  for  a 
fortnight, 

Then  had  to  dig  roots  and  bolt  cold  frogs  for  her 
breakfast. 

And  whenever  her  hunger  was  just  appeased  for 

the  moment, 
She    would    straightway    pause    to    admire    the 

scenery  round  her; 
She  saw  big    trees  shoot  up  their  trunks  into 

steeples, 
Each    bearing    at    top    a    luxuriant    cluster    of 

branches ; 
And  all  down  the  sides  grew  knots  of  awkward 

dimensions, 


40  BLOUZELINDA. 


Apparently  remnants  of  what  had  been  formerly 
live  limbs, 

Which  had  died  prematurely,  it  seemed,  for  want 
of  the  sunshine. 

And  the  old  "  long  moss  "  hung  down  from  the 
bark  and  the  high  boughs, 

Like  beards  once  left  by  the  fierce  buccaneers  in 
the  war  times, 

Giving  now  to  the  whole  of  the  scene  a  remark 
able  aspect. 

And  when  she  sat  down  to  rest  on  the  end  of  an 
old  log, 

Surrounded  by  flowers  shooting  up  in  every  direc 
tion, 

And  saw  the  small  squirrels  eat  nuts  that  fell  from 
the  beech  trees, 

She  thought  with  a  sigh  on  the  corn  cakes  eaten 
at  Mudfog. 

But  life  in  the  woods  now  began  to  injure  her 
wardrobe, 


Bl^OUZELINDA.  41 


And  her  very  best  gown  was  reduced  to  rags  and 

to  tatters ; 
When  she  met  an  old  Indian,  half  horse  and  half 

alligator, 
Whqm  soon  she  persuaded  by  signs  to  lend  her  his 

blanket, 
From  which  she  contrived  to  make  her  a  new  suit 

of  clothing, 
That  lasted  her  afterwards  about  two  years  and  a 

quarter. 
From  this  time  forth  she  dressed  in  the  skins  of 

the  wild  beasts, 
"Which  she  bought  of  the  Indians,  or  shot  with  her 

own  bow  and  arrow  ; 
And  thus  she  went  on  like  the  children  of  Israel 

before  her, 

And*  spent  forty  years  in  the  wilderness,  wander 
ing  always, 
Employing  her  time  in  hunting  for  Sol  and  the 

wild  beasts. 


42  BLOUZELINDA. 


And  many  exploits  were  performed  by  this  wan 
dering  damsel ; 

She  killed  a  great  rattlesnake,  full  six  feet  and  a 
half  long, 

And  out  of  his  skin  she  made  her  a  nice  pair  of 
stockings  ; 

And  she  met  a  huge  bear,  who  was  going  to  pro 
ceed  to  devour  her, 

When  he  altered  his  mind,  and  ran,  in  a  fright,  up 
a  gum  tree. 

Now,  beauty  has  been  pronounced  the  most  fading 

of  flowers, 
And    envious    time    had    dealt    its    work    upon 

Blouzy  ; 
Her  corn-fed  cheeks  shrunk  up  like  an  over-baked 

apple, 
Her  weasel  eyes  sank  back  one  inch  in  their 

sockets, 


BLOUZELINDA.  43 


Her  uncombed  locks  stood  out  like  spokes  of  a 

cart  wheel, 
And  she  grew  such  a  fright  that  the  very  squaws 

were  afraid  of  her. 


CANTO    III. 

Now  Sol  Wheelwright  had  been  leading  the  life 

of  a  scapegrace, 
And  trapped  raccoons  in  the  country  next  to  the 

mountains, 
And  had  drunk  more  rum  than  runs  in  the  big 

Mississippi, 
And  got  into  debt  when  any  body  would  trust 

**.        him, 
And  had  had  three  wives,  and  was  looking  out  for 

a  fourth  one, 
When  he  got  used  up,  and,  of  course,  broke  down, 

at  the  same  time, 


44  BLOUZELINDA. 


And,  as  most  men  thought,  was  lying  now  on  his 
death  bed. 

By  one  of  those  strange  freaks  of  fortune  which 

don't  often  happen, 
Just  then   Blouzelinda  came  striding  out  of  the 

brushwood, 
And  heard  men  speak  of  the  case  of  Solomon 

"Wheelwright ; 
Then  her  faded  cheeks  flushed  up  with  a  beautiful 

crimson, 

And  her  deep-sunk  eyes  shot  forth  unusual  bright 
ness, 
And  she  rushed  to  the  couch  where  poor  old  Sol 

lay  extended, 
And  gave  him  a  hug  that  might  have  done  honor 

to  a  she  bear, 
And  said,  "  Dear  Sol,  here's  your  Blouzy  come  to 

be  married." 


BLOUZELINDA.  46 


Dying  Sol  looked  up  with  a  look  of  bewildered 
amazement, 

And  said,  "  Now,  'tain't ; "  then  said,  "  Why,  so  it 
is,  sartain ; " 

Then  turned  on  his  side,  and  said,  "  I  feel  leetle 
better ; " 

Then  dropped  fast  asleep,  and  awoke  in  a  fine  per 
spiration  ; 

Then  said,  "  Dear  love,  for  your  sake  I'll  consent 
to  recover." 

And  in  one  month  Blouzy  became  the  fourth  Mrs. 
Wheelwright. 


In  the  far  north-west,  on  the  utmost  bounds  of  Ne 
braska, 

Where  nature  is  prodigal  of  gifts  to  all  that  may 
ask  her, 


46  BLOUZELINDA. 


With  every  convenience  to  make  its  inhabitants 
feel  right, 

On  the  bank  of  a  lake  stands  the  thriving  city 
of  Wheelwright. 

It  is  well  laid  out,  with  streets  at  regular  an 
gles, 

And  a  tall  flagstaff  displays  the  stripes  and  the 
spangles. 

It  has  mines  and  springs,  and  of  water  powers  any 
number, 

And  sawmills  that  toil  day  and  night  to  cut  up 
the  lumber ; 

With  a  future  hotel,  of  which  you  perceive  the 
foundation, 

Capacious  enough  to  take  in  the  next  genera 
tion  ; 

With  a  spirited  press  that  sends  forth  a  weekly 
newspaper, 

And  six  railroads,  chartered  all  by  the  last  legl& 
lature ; 


BLOUZELINDA.  47 


With  red-cheeked  children  running  round,  rough, 
ragged,  and  frisky, 

And  red-faced  Indians  that  barter  coon  skins  for 
whiskey. 

Outside  of  the  town,  in  the  rural  new  ceme 
tery,— 

Which  was  laid  out  some  months  before  there 
were  people  to  bury,  — 

Are  seen  two  graves  of  exactly  equal  dimen 
sions, 

(Showing  here,  at  least,  that  the  grave  permits  no 
dissensions ;) 

And  a  broad  slate-stone,  procured,  it  would  seem, 
by  subscription, 

Spans  both  turfs  at  once,  with  the  subjoined  touch 
ing  inscription :  — 

"  The  grateful  citizens,  wishing  always  to  deal 
right, 

Have  raised  this  stone  to  their  pioneers,  S.  and  B. 
Wheelwright." 

See  NOTE,  page  218. 


(49) 


evvigov  tv  ftv&oi 

aiii).ctv  i(&fj'$aLi 


APIZTOflANOYZ  BATPAXOL 

Beneath  the  -water's  depths  profound 

We  dance  in  mazy  tracks, 
And  send  -with  bubbling,  croaking  sound, 

Our  brekekex,  coax. 

THE  FBOGS  OF  AEISTOPHANES. 

(50) 


TO  A  TADPOLE. 

BY  O.  W.   H. 

rTlHOU  nimble,  polymorphous  thing, 
•*•  With  limbs  within  thee  bound, 
Depending  on  thy  caudal  fin 
To  scull  thy  body  round  I 

I  fain  thy  character  would  read, 
From  signs  that  thus  prevail, 

And  swear  thou  hast  a  waggish  head 
On  such  a  waggish  tail. 

Thou  navigator  of  the  ditch, 

If  life  in  mud  be  sorrow, 
Cheer  up  —  for  he  that  dives  to-day 

May  live  to  jump  to-morrow. 

(51) 


52  To  A  TADPOLE. 


"  No  one  on  every  side  is  blest ; " 

So,  prithee,  do  not  wail, 
Because  thou  canst  not  have  at  once 

Thy  four  legs  and  a  tail. 

Though  now  thy  sphere  be  circumscribed, 

Thy  motive  organ  small, 
Thou  soon  shalt  leave  thy  peers  behind, 

And  leap  beyond  them  all. 

Though  urchins,  in  contemptuous  tone, 
May  brand  thee  Polly wog,  — 

Think  of  the  destiny  that  waits 
The  future  of  the  frog ! 

To  doff  thy  gills  and  find  thy  feet, 

To  seek  the  solid  ground, 
And  shake  the  griefs  of  life  away 

In  one  delicious  bound  ;  — 


To  A  TADPOLE.  53 


To  sit  and  muse  o'er  flood  and  fell, 
And  watch  the  billows  flow, 

While  bobolinks  wheel  in  air  above, 
And  horn  pouts  swim  below  ;  — 

To  cast  a  retrospective  glance 

On  tadpole  times  of  old, 
And  contemplate  thy  vanished  tail, 

Even  as  a  tale  that's  told ;  — 

To  sit  beneath  umbrageous  reeds, 
Thy  fervid  limbs  to  soak, 

And  pour,  in  deep,  astounding  peals, 
The  thunder  of  thy  croak ! 

I  fain  would  see  thee  in  the  pool, 
Thy  transmigration  done, 

Essay  to  take  thy  awkward  steps, 
And  stretch  thy  legs  for  fun. 


C4  To  A  TADPOLE. 


The  insect  on  the  neighboring  leaf 

Is  thine  illusive  prey, 
For  when  thou  jump'st  to  hold  him  fast, 

He  jumps  the  other  way. 

'Tis  thus,  if  I  remember  right, 

The  poets  moralize, 
That  "  happiness  allures  from  far," 

Even  "  as  we  follow  flies." 

Thy  fathers  marched  from  pool  to  pool, 

As  "Windham's  legends  tell, 
And  solemn,  deep,  unearthly  sounds 

On  midnight  slumber  fell. 

The  startled  deacons  left  their  beds, 
And  thought  of  judgment  coming, 

"  For  in  the  air  they  did  declare 
Was  a  dreadful,  awful  drumming." 


To  A  TADPOLE.  55 


No  wonder  thy  sepulchral  peal 
Should  fill  them  all  with  fear  ; 

A  hollow,  basso-barytone, 
So  guttural,  deep,  and  clear. 

When  Aristophanes  in  Greek 

The  tone  essayed  to  hit, 
"  Pompholygopaphlasmasin  " 

Was  near  as  he  could  get. 

But  this  implies  the  bubbling  sound 
That  voice  in  water  makes  : 

Thy  unimpeded,  natural  song 
Was  brekekex,  koax. 

Yet  various  croakings  must  be  found, 

Since  many  frogs  there  be, 
Both  bull  frog,  tree  frog,  speckled  frog, 

And  toad  of  low  degree. 


56  To  A  TADPOLE. 


And  though  pretenders  still  appear, 
Whose  croak  might  pass  for  good, 

They  want  the  Acherusian  pitch 
Of  thy  primeval  brood. 

Thy  ancestor  of  JEsop's  time 
Swelled  till  his  boiler  burst :  — 

Of  all  the  foibles  of  the  frog 
Ambition  is  the  worst. 

But  thou,  more  wise,  dost  warning  take, 

Nor  enviest  life  that's  brief : 
The  ox  with  fat  distends  his  skin 

To  furnish  earlier  beef. 

Thy  swarming  race,  from  Nilus'  banks, 
Were  Pharaoh's  plagues  of  yore, 

When  kneading  troughs  and  plastic  dough 
The  web-foot  impress  bore. 


To  A  TADPOLE.  57 


What  though  the  Egyptian  made  his  tomb 

The  rock-built  pyramid  ? 
No  one  now  knows  if  king  or  cow 

Within  its  cave  be  hid. 

But  thou  dost  make  thy  resting-place 

Deep  in  primeval  stone, 
And  takest  thy  long,  unbroken  sleep, 

"  Dread,  fathomless,  alone." 

And  when  old  rocks  are  cleft  in  twain, 
And  miners'  tools  are  picking, 

'Tis  said  they  sometimes  turn  thee  out 
Alive,  awake,  and  kicking. 

They  say  that  erst  'mong  giant  birds 

Batrachian  reptiles  crept, 
And  Greenfield's  rocks  along  her  streams 

Their  footprints  yet  have  kept. 


58  To  A  TADPOLE. 


Such  tales  may  do  on  lecture  nights 
For  gaping  gulls  to  swallow  : 

The  Jew  Apella  may  believe  ; 
You  don't  catch  me  to  follow. 

Thou  present  tadpole,  future  frog, 
Thou  hydropath  in  grain, 

Boasting  that  thou  art  never  dry, 
Though  I  may  thirst  in  vain,  — 

A  ducking  for  a  scolding  wife 
Would  pastime  prove  to  thee, 

And  ditches  round  Sebastopol 
Commodious  lodgings  be. 

Beware !  for  dangers  lurk  around 
To  pounce  in  one  fell  swoop : 

The  angler  seeks  his  pickerel  bait  — 
The  Frenchman  wants  his  soup. 


To  A  TADPOLE.  59 


The  truant-boy  beside  the  brook 

May  yet  abridge  thy  term. 
And  try  thee  with  his  tempting  hook 

And  tidbit  of  a  worm. 

Beware !  for  when  thou  opest  thy  mouth 

To  clutch  the  gilded  snare, 
He'll  drag  thee  upwards,  bolt  upright, 

And  sprawling  in  the  air ! 

Farewell !    Methinks  I've  flattered  thee, 
And  warned  thee  of  thy  doom, 

Traced  thy  illustrious  pedigree, 
And  shadowed  forth  thy  tomb. 

A  silent  pang  creeps  o'er  my  breast, 

And  fills  my  boding  heart. 
I  cannot  say  farewell  again  — 

Not  yet,  at  least,  we  part. 


60  To  A  TADPOLE. 


Though  adverse  waves  around  us  roll, 
And  winds  bring  notes  of  sorrow, 

Well  strive  to  hold  our  courage  up, 
And  brace  us  for  to-morrow. 

And  though  my  hairs  are  getting  thin, 
And  thy  short  tail  is  shorter, 

We'll  struggle  yet  a  while  to  keep 
Our  heads  above  the  water. 

And  we  will  sing  a  brave  duet 

On  life's  eventful  dream, 
And  I  will  make  the  poetry, 

And  thou  shalt  make  the  theme. 

And  when  this  planet  shall  explode, 
And  send  us  through  the  air, 

They'll  find  our  bones  in  future  rocks, 
And  wonder  what  they  were. 


(Smporiwm  iersus  leta  |orl 


.  &   . 


(61) 


"  What  has  been  the  fate  of  many  fair  cities  of  antiquity, 
whose  nameless  ruins  encumber  the  plains  of  Europe  and  Asia, 
and  awaken  the  fruitless  inquiry  of  the  traveller  ?  They  have 
sunk  into  dust  and  silence  —  they  have  perished  from  remem 
brance  —  for  want  of  "  a  respectable  name. 
KNICKERBOCKER'S  HISTORY  OF  NEW  YORK, — amended. 


(62) 


EMPORIUM  VERSUS  NEW  YORK. 

BY   Q.   E.   D. 

T17ITH  head  erect  and  stately  stride, 
"  In  Broadway,  on  the  western  side, 
I  marched,  and  viewed,  in  conscious  pride, 
The  splendors  of  New  York. 

I  saw,  reflecting  back  the  day, 
Palatial  walls,  in  proud  array, 
And  vistas  stretching  far  away, 
Of  opulent  New  York. 

What  gorgeous  domes  confront  the  sky, 
What  proud  hotels  are  soaring  high, 
What  windows  lure  the  passers  by, 

The  strangers  in  New  York  ! 

(63) 


64  EMPORIUM  VERSUS  NEW  YORK. 


All  gems  are  there  in  sparkling  showers, 
All  trophies  of  barbaric  powers, 
And  fabrics  wrought  for  princely  dowers, 
Are  gathered  in  New  York. 

And  pilgrims  press  with  eager  feet, 
And  curious  eyes  with  wonders  meet 
In  Broadway's  world-surpassing  street, 
The  glory  of  New  York. 

Tall  ships  are  in  from  many  a  shore, 
And  streets  and  shops  are  running  o'er, 
And  lumbering  drays  can  hold  no  more 
The  transport  of  New  York. 

I  tried  in  vain  to  cross  the  street, 
Where  whirling  wheels  cut  off  retreat, 
And  clattering  tramp  of  horses'  feet 

Announced  the  great  New  York. 


EMPORIUM  VERSUS  NEW  YORK.  65 


I  gazed  upon  the  motley  throng  ; 
The  ceaseless  current  surged  along, 
And  sinewy  legs  and  elbows  strong 

Went  struggling  through  New  York. 

Saxons  and  Celts,  and  Greeks  and  Jews, 
Creoles,  Italians,  and  Hindoos, 
Germans  and  Franks,  and  Kickapoos, 
All  crowded  in  New  York. 

I  looked  ahead,  and  read  the  fates, 
I  scanned  the  rise  and  fall  of  states, 
And  saw  the  destiny  that  waits 

The  future  of  New  York. 

Not  fifty  years  shall  pass  when  she, 
Whose  commerce  floats  on  every  sea, 
The  world's  first  banking-place  shall  be, 

Though  then  no  more  "  New  York." 

5 


66          EMPORIUM  VERSUS  NEW  YOKK. 


Indignant  voices  shall  proclaim, 
That  she,  the  first  in  wealth  and  fame, 
No  more  shall  wear  the  paltry  name 
Of  pitiful  "  New  York." 

When  old  JEneas  and  his  boy 

From  the  mast-head  cried,  "  Rome,  ahoy," 

They  did  not  call  the  place  New  Troy, 

Like  fools  who  named  New  York. 

When  Moses  led  his  wandering  Jews 
To  bathe  their  feet  in  Canaan's  dews, 
They  proved  too  wise  to  name  and  use 
New  Egypt,  like  New  York. 

New  Amsterdam  might  fit  the  Dutch  ; 
But  when  the  English  got  their  clutch, 
Why  need  they  coin  another  such, 

And  dub  the  town  "  New  York  "  ? 


EMPORIUM  VERSUS  NEW  YORK.  67 


Well  may  those  ancient  dolts  be  blamed, 
Well  may  their  offspring  feel  ashamed, 
That  earth's  first  city  should  be  named 
Contemptible  "  New  York." 

Old  York  is  just  a  middling  place, 
With  clowns  and  dukes,  a  motley  race, 
And  scarcely  worthy  to  disgrace 

A  mere  fag  end  "  New  York." 

Who  would  wear  a  livery,  pray, 
Who  a  second  fiddle  play, 
Who  be  second  best  alway, 

But  self-despised  "  JYeu>  York  "  ? 

I  summon  poets,  one  and  all, 

Who  help  to  spin  this  mundane  ball, 

To  rescue  from  degrading  thrall 

The  trodden-down  New  York. 


68          EMPORIUM  VERSUS  NEW  YORK. 


I  call  on  patriots,  fierce  or  tame, 
To  wipe  away  this  burning  shame, 
And  kick  down  hill,  with  one  acclaim, 
Detestable  "  New  York." 

Let  all  who  feel  the  chain  they  drag, 
Let  all  who  have  a  tongue  to  wag, 
Combine  to  raise  a  nobler  flag, 

More  glorious  than  "  New  York." 

Yast  continents  have  changed  their  name ; 

Cities  and  ladies  do  the  same, 

A  part  for  pride  and  part  for  shame, 

Both  which  should  move  New  York. 

New  Holland  is  Australia  now  ; 
Toronto  made  one  "  York  "  to  bow  ; 
The  late  Miss  Smith  is  Mrs.  Howe  : 

"Why  don't  you  change  New  York  ? 


EMPOKIUM  VERSUS  NEW  YORK.          69 


I've  travelled  much,  and  somewhat  sailed, 
In  danger's  face  have  seldom  quailed, 
But  when  they  asked  from  whence  I  hailed, 
I  did  not  say  New  York. 

I  find  great  names  where'er  I  roam  — 
Paris,  Vienna,  London,  Rome  ; 
I  loathe  the  paltry  one  at  home, 
I  execrate  "  New  York." 

A  generous  name  sounds  well  in  verse, 
A  bad  one  is  a  clinging  curse  ; 
I  never  heard  nor  dreamt  a  worse 

Than  pestilent  "  New  York." 

J.  ask  a  bold,  descriptive  name, 
Of  classic  birth  and  faultless  claim, 
To  grow  amid  the  growing  fame 

Of  what  was  once  New  York. 


70  EMPORIUM  VERSUS  NEW  YORK. 


EMPOKITJM  shall  that  title  be, 
The  empire  mart  of  earth  and  sea, 
The  central  city  of  the  free  ; 

EMPORIUM,  —  not  &-  A*»  York! 

See  NOTE,  page  228. 


(71) 


Let  us  look  around  among  the  admirers  of  poetry;  we 
shall  find  those  who  have  a  taste  for  the  sublime  to  be  very 
few }  but  the  profound  strikes  universally,  and  is  adapted  to 

every  capacity. 

MAKTINUS  SCKIBLERUS. 

(72) 


THE  UNSEEN. 

BY   R.    W.   E. 

/AN  the  world's  broad  effulgence 

Man  opens  his  eyes, 
The  scene  spreads  before  him 

Its  fields  and  its  skies. 
To  earth  and  to  heaven 

He  pushes  his  glance, 
He  bores  the  molecule, 

He  probes  the  expanse. 

The  universe  looms  up, 

An  ocean  of  light, 
And  worlds  that  are  blazing 

Seem  made  for  his  sight. 

(73) 


74  THE  UNSEEN. 


Let  space  and  let  darkness 
Rebuke  his  pretence  — 

The  seen  is  but  little, 
The  unseen  immense. 

The  vast  orbs  of  heaven 

Seem  rolling  through  air, 
But  what  they  are  made  of, 

They  fail  to  declare. 
Man  gazes  down  earthward 

With  scrutiny  nice, 
But  to  see  through  a  millstone 

Is  past  his  device. 

Unseen,  under  ground, 
Living  essences  clash. 

The  roots  of  the  oak 

Meet  the  roots  of  the  ash  — 

The  prize  of  their  combat 
An  atom  of  soil  — 


THE  Ux SEEN.  75 


They  wrestle  and  struggle 
Till  one  takes  the  spoil. 

A  bit  of  a  snail  shell 

Is  dug  from  the  sand  ; 
Tis  the  last  of  ten  trillions 

That  make  up  the  land ; 
How  lived,  loved,  and  died  they, 

What  mortal  shall  say  ? 
What  joy  or  what  anguish 

Gave  zest  to  their  day  ? 

The  lord  of  creation 

Walks  over  the  soil ; 
He  deems  what  he  treads  on 

Legitimate  spoil : 
Let  him  hold  the  broad  acres 

In  strength  of  a  name  ; 
The  mole  and  the  earthworm 

Precede  him  in  claim. 


7G  THE  UNSEEN*. 


Bright  gold  in  excess 

Underlies  the  deep  sand  ; 
It  belongs  to  the  man 

Who  has  purchased  the  land. 
He  will  die,  and  not  know  it, 

Still  poor  as  a  miser, 
With  his  hundredth  descendant 

Nor  richer  nor  wiser. 

There's  an  oyster  in  ocean, 

A  pearl  in  his  shell, 
A  prince  could  not  buy  it, 

A  Jew  would  not  sell : 
The  pearl  and  the  oyster 

Unnoticed  remain ; 
What  the  sea  will  not  give  up 

Man  seeks  for  in  vain. 

Eternal  is  motion, 
Eternal  is  rest ; 


THE  UNSEEN.  77 


Which  started  the  foremost 
Will  never  be  guessed. 

Was  the  universe  one  lump, 
What  could  it  move  by  ? 

Or,  resting  at  anchor, 
Say,  where  did  it  lie  ? 

Unspeakable  nature 

Our  wonder  may  fill, 
But  Chaos  before  was 

More  wonderful  still. 
I  like  this  same  Chaos, 

Which  nobody  knows  ; 
I'd  give  more  to  see  it 

Than  most  of  your  shows. 

Thrice  wonderful  Chaos ! 

Neglected  too  long, 
I  call  thee  to  order, 

I  give  thee  my  song. 


78  THE  UNSEEN. 


Did  silence  chaotic 

Brood  over  thy  rest, 
Or  storms,  more  despotic, 

Convulse  thy  deep  breast  ? 

Wast  thou  formed  out  of  matter, 

Or  measured  from  space  ? 
Did  a  top  and  a  bottom 

Thy  outline  deface  ? 
"Wast  thou  made  up  of  atoms, 

"When  atoms  were  not  ? 
"Were  those  atoms  attractive, 

Repulsive,  or  what  ? 

Inscrutable  Chaos, 

I  gloat  on  thy  name  ; 
I  dive  thy  abysses, 

And  come  up  the  same  ; 
The  depths  of  thy  darkness 

Have  uttered  no  sound  ; 


THE  UNSEEN.  79 

Thy  tongue,  if  thou  hadst  one, 
Creation  has  drowned. 

The  appropriate  study 

Of  mankind  is  man, 
Yet  his  soul  and  his  body 

Who  ventures  to  scan  ? 
To  turn  his  eyes  inward 

One  must  be  a  wizard, 
For  no  man  can  live 

And  behold  his  own  gizzard. 

Man  revels  in  darkness, 

But  withers  in  light ; 
He  lives,  he  don't  know  how, 

And  thinks  it  all  right : 
He  declines  when  invited 

That  others  should  view  him  ; 
His  greatest  aversion 

Is  daylight  let  through  him. 


THE  UNSEEN. 


His  brain  is  a  gulf 

Full  of  fancy  and  flame, 
Of  world-stirring  projects 

And  thoughts  without  aim. 
Where  lie  the  deep  chambers 

In  which  his  mind  dances  ? 
What  cells  microscopic 

Are  filled  with  his  fancies  ? 

What  gates  let  his  thoughts  out 

With  lightning-like  pace, 
When  they  burst  in  a  sortie 

To  regions  of  space  ? 
On  the  icebergs  of  Neptune 

Unheeding  they  walk, 
On  the  hearthstones  of  Sirius 

They  sit  down  and  talk. 

They  go  off  wool  gathering 
No  mortal  knows  where  ; 


THE  UNSEEN.  81 

They  are  deep  in  earth's  centre, 

Anon  high  in  air  ; 
Where  his  thoughts  drag  him  onward 

The  captive  must  go  ; 
They  lead  him  blindfolded 

To  weal  or  to  woe. 

Man's  heart  is  a  hell  — 

Lord  Byron  has  said  it ; 
Yet  farther  inquiry 

Proves  more  to  its  credit : 
Like  a  pump  in  a  shipwreck 

It  labors  to  save  ; 
Its  strokes  keep  us  floating 

From  cradle  to  grave. 

Yet  this  heart  is  a  problem, 

A  paradox  deep ; 
Unseen  are  its  movements, 

Unmeasured  its  leap ; 
6 


82  THE  UXSEEN. 

It  bounds  back  to  kindness, 

Recoils  back  in  hate. 
Exults  with  its  passion, 

Or  breaks  with  its  fate. 

Mysterious  heart, 

Of  its  fortune  the  play. 
Exchanged  for  another, 

And  oft  thrown  away, 
Pierced  through  with  sharp  arrows, 

Cut  into  with  knives, 
Unseen  it  still  pulsates, 

Unwished  it  survives. 

The  rain  falleth  downwards 

The  ocean  to  meet ; 
The  blood  courseth  roundwards 

Its  fountain  to  greet ; 
Space,  matter,  and  moonshine 

In  eddies  are  whirled  ; 


THE  UNSEEN. 

Their  circumgyrations 
Give  laws  to  the  world. 

Peremptory  nature 

Keeps  all  things  in  order  ; 
Birds  mount  in  the  air,  and 

Fish  swim  in  the  water  ; 
The  bright  rhododendron 

Flames  up  to  the  sky, 
Appropriate  pigweed 

Creeps  under  the  sty. 

Roll  on,  orbs  of  heaven  ; 

"We  keep  you  in  view  : 
Your  truth  is  unchanging, 

Your  changes  are  true. 
Let  man,  struggling  onward, 

His  destiny  gain ; 
When  pain  shall  be  pleasure, 

And  pleasure  be  pain. 


®Ije  Spirit  papers  to  ijwr  Bariums. 


K  1.  g.  £. 

(85) 


GLENDOWER. 
I  can  call  spirits  from  the  vasty  deep. 

HOTSPUR. 

Why  so  can  I,  or  so  can  any  man  ; 
But  will  they  come  when  you  do  call  for  them  ? 

GLEXDOAVER. 
Why,  I  can  teach  you  to  command  the  devil. 

HOTSPUR. 
And  I  can  teach  thee,  coz,  to  shame  the  devil 

By  telling  truth. 

SHAKSPEARE,  King  Henry  IV. 

(86) 


THE   SPIRIT   RAPPERS   TO   THEIR 
MEDIUMS. 

BY  J.  E.  L. 

"IT AY  it  please  your  respectable  body  elect, 

"Who  the  rights  of  poor  spirits  vouchsafe  to 

protect, 
The  subscribers  (subknockers)  would  knock  up  a 

prayer, 
Touching  some  of  the  evils  they  now  have  to  bear. 

Your  petitioners  firstly  announce,  in  their  case, 
That  they  form  both  an  old  and  a  numerous  race  ; 
Having  served,  since  the  period  when  Adam  had 

birth, 

To  stock,  and  improve,  and  replenish  the  earth ; 
Representing,  of  course,  in  their  forms  evanescent, 
The  past  human  species  quite  down  to  the  present, 

(87) 


88  THE  SPIRIT  RAPPERS 


Of  all  generations,  and  kindreds  and  tongues, 
That  have  walked  upon  legs  or  have  talked  out  of 

lungs ; 
That  have  strutted  their  hour  on  this  sublunar 

stage, 

And  adorned  each  in  turn  his  particular  age, 
From  the  early  companions  of  Cain  and  of  Abel 
To  their  humbler  descendants  who  laid  bricks  at 

Babel, 

With  subsequent  swarms  of  all  nations  and  hues, 
Troglodytes,  Greeks,  Roman's,  Finns,  Frenchmen, 

and  Jews. 

Moreover,  since    death  keeps    at    work  without 

ceasing, 

Our  number,  'tis  plain,  must  be  yearly  increasing, 
(We  take  poet's  license  in  which  we  were  ixursed, 
And  exchange  the  third  person,  just  here,  for  the 

first.) 


To  THEIR  MEDIUMS.  89 

"War,  famine,  and  pestilence  serve  to  recruit  us, 
And  battles  and  wrecks  are  our  great  coadjutors. 
The  deluge,  which  drowned  all  the  world  except 

Noah, 

Reenforced  us  at  once  with  a  few  millions  more. 
We  grew,  when  the  Persians  invaded  old  Greece, 
Or  the  Romans  made  deserts,  and  nicknamed  it 

"  peace," 
And  through  the  dark  ages  when  men  starved  and 

fought, 
Spirits  came  to  us  faster  than  Malthus  e'er  thought. 

When  the  strifes  of  new  Europe  experience  revivals 
We  look  out  for  shoals  of  more  recent  arrivals, 
From  the  thirty  years'  war  and  the  campaign  at 

Moscow, 
To  the  Crimean  squabble,  where  quick  man  and 

horse  go. 

If  our  numbers  fall  off  in  some  peaceable  times, 
They  soon  get  renewed  by  disasters  and  crimes. 


90  THE    SPIRIT    RAPPERS 


And  we  look  to  invasions  and  fights  that  sweep  all 
away 

To  help  yellow  fever,  rum,  earthquakes,  and  chol 
era. 

And  here  we  digress,  for  the  purpose  of  showing 
(What  you  seldom  do)  certain  secrets  worth  know 
ing  ; 

And  will  knock  out,  as  one  of  our  characteristics, 
A  bit  of  a  problem  in  spirit  statistics. 

In  the  old  world  no  one  has  the  slightest  mis 
giving 

That  the  aggregate  dead  far  outnumber  the  living ; 

Whereas  in  the  new  it  is  just  the  reverse, 

And  the  sexton  is  always  in  rear  of  the  nurse  ; 

And  so  much  o'er  the  dead  do  the  living  prepon 
derate, 

There  are  always  more  heads  left  aboveground 
than  under  it, 


To  THEIR  MEDIUMS.   "  91 


Including  the  whole  that  have  died  in  the  land 
Since  the  Pilgrims  at  Plymouth  set  foot  on  the 

strand.  — 

Mathematics  are  hard  to  reduce  into  verse, 
But  by  aid  of  your  patience  the  steps  we'll  rehearse. 
From  reports  of  the  census  we  think  it  appears 
That  Americans  double  in  twenty-five  years, 
Whereas,  'tis  allowed,  on  the  best  calculation, 
It  takes  thirty  and  more  to  make  one  generation. 
So,  for  each  hundred  debtors  that  pay  nature's 

dues 

One  hundred  and  twenty  lay  claim  to  their  shoes. 
All  hail,  then,  Columbia;  thy  numbers  are  heaping, 
And  thy  fast-moving  sons  go  ahead  while  they're 

sleeping. 

But  though  here  we  poor  spirits  are  kept  a  mi 
nority, 

Yet  in  most  other  lands  we've  a  handsome  ma 
jority  ; 


92  THE  SPIRIT  RAPPERS 


A  ad  if  brought  to  the  test  of  an  actual  voting 
We  could  poll  the  dead  nations  we  just  have  been 

quoting, 
And  bring  black  spirits  and  white,  and  blue  spirits 

and  gray, 
Against  your  know  nothings  and  quids  of  the  day. 

And  now  to  return  from  our  learned  digression, 
We  come  to  the  point  of  our  main  intercession. 
We  hold  it  a  grievance  no  longer  endurable, 
And  one  to  remove  which  they  tell  us  that  you're 

able, 
That  the  best  men  among  us,  the  great  and  the 

good, 

Who  in  armies,  and  senates,  and  pulpits  have  stood, 
Commanders  of  hosts,  benefactors  of  species, 
Must  be  whistled  up  hither,  like  hounds  in  their 

leashes, 

From  their  various  abodes,  both  above  and  below, 
Where  they  take  retribution  in  weal  or  in  woe, 


To  THEIR  MEDIUMS.  93 


And,  like  veriest  clogs,  be  packed  under  the  table, 
To  show  off  small  tricks  and  perform  what  they're 

able ; 

To  inspire  with  poor  jokes  some  hysterical  miss, 
While  she  blabs  revelations  of  that  world  or  this  ; 
To  lug  at  huge  tables  and  upset  the  floor, 
And  knock  on  the  same  till  their  knuckles  are  sore  : 
And  because  they  can't  speak,  for  the  want  of  a 

throat, 
They  must  father  all  nonsense  you  see  fit  to  quote. 

To  show  that  our  proofs  in  the  case  are  most  ample 
We  need  but  to  make  a  convincing  example, 
Which  we'll  do,  by  your  leave,  without  more  prep 
aration, 

And  proceed  to  bring  forward  a  "  manifestation." — 
HavTng  darkened  the  lights  and  cast  out  unbe 
lievers, 

Let  the  guests  be  arranged  in  due  form  to   re 
ceive  us. 


94  THE  SPIRIT  RAPPERS 


Let  their  hands  (not  themselves  be  imposed  on) 

the  table, 

With  looks  of  bereavement  and  garments  of  sable, 
Amid  silence  and  gloom  we  proceed  to  begin, 
(Provided  the  fees  for  admission  are  in.) 

"  Are  the  spirits  arrived  in  their  usual  plenty  ?  " 
We  rap,  and  reply  that  we  muster  just  twenty. 
"  Is  the  patriarch  JOB  among  those  who  observe 

us?" 
Rap,  rap,  rap.  — "  Ay,  ay,  sir  —  here's  Job,  at  your 

service." 

"  Mr.  Job,  can  you  tell,  what  no  history  does, 
In  what  part  of  the  world  was  the  kingdom  of  Uz  ?  " 
Rap,  rap.  — "  'Tis  that  part,  as  I've   reason   to 

know, 
Where  the  devil  unchained  walks  the  earth  to  and 

fro." 

("  A  pretty  unlimited  country,  methinks," 
Quoth  a  blade  who  had  just  been  expelled  for  his 

winks.) 


To  THEIR  MEDIUMS.  95 


"  Worthy  Job,  we  have  heard  of  your  patience  of 

yore, 

When  your  boils  and  your  wife  made  your  feel 
ings  quite  sore ; 

As  a  man  of  much  sorrow,  of  trials  and  grief, 
Tell  us  which  of  your  ills  you  accounted  the  chief." 
Rap,  rap.  —  "  I  have  borne  with  bereavements  and 

sores, 

But  of  all  sharp  inflictions  there's  nothing  like  bores. 
My  enemies  plagued  me  to  serve  their  base  ends, 
But  no  one  came  forward  to  save  me  from  friends. 
I  endured  it  seven  days,  while  they  all  held  their 

peace, 
But  'twas  too  much  to  stand  when  their  tongues 

got  release. 

If  you're  seeking  for  comforters  over  the  town, 
Choose  those  that  are  made  of  good  wadding  or 

down. 

A  scrape  with  a  potsherd  will  ease  a  rough  hide, 
But  a  scrape  of  three  friends  beggars  all  scrapes 

beside." 


96  THESriKITllAPFERS 


"  Will  the  great  JULIUS  C-^SAR  descend  from  his 
sphere, 

And  take  a  low  seat  with  the  table  legs  here  ?  " 

"  With  pleasure,  —  delighted,  —  to  sit  or  to  stand  ; 

It  is  mine  to  obey  as  'tis  yours  to  command." 

"  Mr.  Csesar,  we  think  you  were  married  quite 
young, 

And  had  several  wives,  of  whom  each  had  a  tongue. 

Will  you  tell  us  distinctly,  we  ask  it  with  defer 
ence, 

To  which  of  these  ladies  you  now  give  the  prefer 
ence?" 

"  Cornelia  was  fair  and  Calphurnia  kind, 

But  neither  exactly  turned  out  to  my  mind  ; 

Pompeia  pleased  me  the  most,  —  but  my  patience 

Was  oftentimes  tried  by  her  tricks  and  flirtations  ; 

And  at  last,  when  she  cut  me  one  night  in  the  hall, 

I  thought  it  the  cut  most  unkindest  of  all. 

(Shakspeare  made  a  mistake  in  applying  it  to 
Brutus.) 

I  was  cut  to  the  quick  by  her  airs  with  her  suitors, 


To  THEIR  MEDIUMS.  97 


And  so  I  divorced  her,  when  proof  was  effected  ; 
For  the  wife  of  great  Ceesar  must  not  be  suspected." 

"  Great  Cassar,  we  often  have  heard  of  your  fame, 
As  a  conqueror  of  realms,  and  an  author  of  name  ; 
By  a  talent  not  common  with  most  of  your  tribe, 
You  were  able  at  once  both  to  fight  and  describe  ; 
You  once  swam  a  creek  that  was  boiling  beneath, 
And  carried  your  works  safe  across  in  your  teeth  ; 
Now  tell  us,  since  we,  who,  as  authors  come  after, 
Have  hard  work  to  keep  our  poor  heads  above  water, 
How  the  deuse  you  contrived,  when  our  chance  is 

so  slim, 
To  keep  up  a  good  face,  and  to  make  your  works 

swim." 

Rap,  rap. — "  Keeping  all  common  hazards  in  view, 
I  acted  as  most  men  of  prudence  would  do. 
I  knew  by  experience  I'd  had  in  a  boat, 
That  your  heavy  things  sink,  when  your  light  ones 

will  float. 
7 


98  THE  SPIRIT  RAPPERS 


And,  moreover,   to   guard   against  lawsuits   and 

brawls, 
I  had  levied  my  pay  in  advance  on  the  Gauls." 

"  Mr.  Cassar,  we  know  that  your  talents  were 
great, 

You  wrote  Commentaries,  you  upset  the  state. 

Be  pleased  to  explain  (though  you  think  one  a 
dunce) 

How  you  managed  to  dictate  to  six  scribes  at 
once." 

"  In  the  matter  of  writing  we  Romans  were  slow, 

And  with  stiff  Roman  letters  the  lines  would  not 
flow. 

Our  stationers  kept  neither  pens,  ink,  nor  wafers  ; 

We  possessed  neither  steno-  nor  yet  phono-gra- 
phers. 

My  clerks  never  moved  with  the  pace  of  ethereals, 

But  grumbled  and  growled  at  their  writing  mate 
rials. 


To  THEIR  MEDIUMS.  99 


One  fellow  maintained  the  papyrus  was  vile, 
Though  I  had  it  imported  express  from  the  Nile  ; 
Another,  who  failed  to  get  on  with  his  facts, 
Had  forgotten  to  cover  his  tablets  with  wax, 
And  then,  when  I  threatened  to  flog  him  the  while, 
He  laid  all  the  blame  to  the  villanous  styk." 

"  Is   crooked-backed    RICHAED   contained  in   the 

throng  ?  " 

Rap,  rap.  —  "  Have  the  kindness  to  pass  him  along. 
King  Richard  the  Third,  take  your  place  on  the 

stand ; 
Look  the  court  in  the  face,  and  hold  up  your  right 

hand. 
Did  you  kill  those  two  children  one  night  in  the 

Tower  ?  " 

"  rhad  those  two  babes  a  long  time  in  my  power. 
They,  some  how  or  other,  contrived  to  get  free, 
And  I  could  not  kill  them,  for  Earl  Richmond 

killed  me. 


100  THE  SPIRIT  RAPPERS 


How  they  got  from  confinement  or  wandered  about 
You  must  ask  your  King  Henry,  who  hunted  them 

out. 
Pcrkin   Warbeck.   whose    friends    he   so   readily 

routed, 
Was  the  true  Duke  of  York,  and  no  two  ways 

about  it ; 

And  I,  whom  they  paint  as  deformed  as  the  devil, 
Was  a  fine,  polished  gentleman,  handsome  and  civil. 
One  shoulder  was  slightly  the  highest,  it's  true  ; 
Yet  I  shouldered  more  blame  than  was  fairly  my 

due. 

And,  in  proof  I  was  not  quite  so  ugly  as  Hades, 
I  appeal  to  my  well-known  success  with  the  ladies." 

"  Messrs.  Ghosts,  is  there  with  you  —  allow  us  to 

ask  — 

A  mysterious  man,  with  a  thick  IRON  MASK, 
Of  solemn  demeanor,  and  stately  and  mute, 
And  arrayed  like  a  prince,  from  his  head  to  his 

foot? 


To  THEIR  MEDIUMS.  101 


Well,  Sir  Mask,  the  whole  world  has  been  burning 

to  know 
Both  your  name  and  the  cause  why  they  muzzled 

you  so." 
Eap,  again.  —  "My  live  face  they  would  not  let 

appear ; 

And,  therefore,  excuse  me,  I  shan't  show  it  here. 
I  always  went  masked  on  the  slightest  occasion  ; 
And  now  to  show  off  —  sure  my  face  must  be 

brazen. 

I  was  locked  up  as  snug  as  a  miser's  own  pelf. 
If  you  ask  who  I  was,  faith,  I  don't  know  myself. 
I  wrote  all  I  knew  on  a  small  silver  dish, 
"Which  I  threw  from  my  window  to  enlighten  the 

fish. 

A  fisherman  carried  it  home,  it  is  said  ; 
The  dolt  could  not  read  it,  and  that  saved  his  head. 
My  jailer  kept  dark,  ay,  and  so  kept  his  place : 
He  ne'er  showed  his  hand,  nor  let  me  show  my 

face. 


102  THE  SPIRIT  RAPPERS 


They    call    me   Vermandois,  and    Beaufort,   and 

others ; 
Some  say   the    Great    Louis    and    I    were    twin 

brothers. 

But  be  that  as  it  may,  it  has  ceased  to  be  strange, 
That  men  should  go  masked  in  the  streets  and 

exchange. 
To  be  sure,  they  don't  wear  real  masks  of  sheet 

iron, 
But  they  carry  two  faces,  —  to  speak  truth,  —  and 

lie  on." 

"  Let  the  ghosts  shudder  back  and  make  room  in 

the  rear : 

The  accurst  TORQUEMADA  is  called  to  appear  ; 
The  Catholic  lord  of  the  dungeon  and  cell, 
Who  converted  fair  Spain  to  a  region  of  hell  ; 
The  Inquisitor   stern,  whose   deep  vengeance  to 

slake 
Ten  thousand  live  heretics  died  at  the  stake  ; 


To  THEIK  MEDIUMS.  103 


The  confessor  devout  and  approved  license  seller 

Of  Ferdinand  wise,  and  benign  Isabella  ; 

Who,  to  keep  the  queen's  conscience  in  laudable 

way, 

Entertained  her  each  month  with  an  auto  da  fe. 
Come  on  Torquemada,  you  fiend  of  a  man  ; 
Knock,  speak,  and  defend  yourself  now  if  you  can." 
"  I  think  Inquisitions,  so  called,  have  gone  by  ; 
Yet  you  torture  folks  now  as  adroitly  as  I. 
There  are  two  ways  their  bones  and  their  sinews 

to  crack ; 

You  do  it  with  railroads,  as  I  with  the  rack. 
I  burned  them  on  piles  to  amuse  my  fair  queen  ; 
You  flay  them  with  boilers,  and  roast  with  cam- 

phene." 

M» 

"  Call  in  ROBERT  STEPHEXSON  :  witness,  appear. 
You  were  king  of  the  railroads,  and  first  engineer  ; 
You  invented  the  engine  that  did  all  the  mischief ; 
Sir  Robert,  your  hand  in  this  vile  business  is  chief." 


104  THE  SPIRIT  RAPPERS 


"  My  dear  sir,  'tis  true  that  I  made  locomotives, 
But  I  did  it,  observe,  from  the  kindest  of  motives. 
There  were  times  when  rash  men  at  a  gay  horse's 

tail  rode ; 

Now,  there's  no  place  so  safe  as  a  seat  on  a  rail 
road. 
Had  the  man  who  was  drowned  by  upsetting  a 

boat, 

And  the  traveller  who  died  from  a  cut  in  his  throat, 
And  the  luckless  bricklayer  who  fell  from  a  wall, 
And  the  soldier  who  stood  in  the  way  of  a  ball, 
And  the  woman  run  over  in  crossing  the  street, 
And  the  child  that  was  burnt,  and  the  wife  that 

was  beat,  — 

Had  these  been  all  seated  in  snug  Jersey  train, 
They  had  all  been  alive,  and  I'd  not  lived  in  vain." 

"  Is  the  ghost  of  JOHN  GILPIN  arrived  here  to 
night  ?  " 
"  John  Gilpin  is  coming — is  come — and  all  right." 


To  THEIR  MEDIUMS.  105 


"  Mr.  Gilpin,  we  learn  it  turned  out  to  your  loss, 
That  you  ever  '  bestrided '  the  calender's  horse. 
You  commanded  a  train  band  and  wore  a  long 

sword, 
And  had  had  merry  times  on  the  wine  that  you 

stored. 

You  have  had  some  experience  in  riding  at  large  ; 
Pray,  what  did  you  think   of  Lord   Cardigan's 

charge  ?  " 

"  Hem !    His  lordship's  a  cavalry  officer  fine  ; 
He  commands  well  his  horse,  although  I  couldn't 

mine. 
It  was  lucky  for  both  that  our  chargers  went 

through, 

And  retreated  forthwith,  pretty  much  malgre  nous. 
A  little  such  sport  goes  a  great  way  with  me  ; 
When  he  charges  again  may  I  be  there  to  see  ; 
After  which,  competition  between  us  must  drop  ; 
He  may  charge  in  the  field,  but  I'd  charge  in  the 

shop." 


106  THE  SPIRIT  RAPPERS 


"  Stand  forth,  WARREN  HASTINGS,  impeached  of 

the  law 

At  the  grandest  tribunal  the  world  ever  saw  ; 
In  whose  trial  eight  years  were  expended  in  vain  ; 
In  less  than  eight  minutes  we'll  try  you  again. 
The  spoiler  of  cities  and  murderer  of  men, 
What  defence  have  you  now  ?     What  excuse  had 

you  then  ?  " 

"  Old  England,  my  country.  I  strove  to  obey  ; 
My  employers  I  served  in  the  time-sanctioned  way  ; 
I  saw  them  encumbered  with  wars  and  with  debt, 
And  though  India  was  poor,  there  was  money  to 

get; 

I  pursued  the  Rohillas  with  sword  and  with  fire  ; 
When  I   got  forty  lacs,   my   demands  went  no 

higher  ; 

When  my  troublesome  council  were  bent  on  a  jar, 
To  produce  an  effect  I  hung  up  Nuncomar  ; 
To  the  chiefs  of  Benares  and  ladies  of  Oude, 
For  a  few  millions  more,  my  behavior  was  rude. 


To  THEIR  MEDIUMS.  107 


Let  not  England  complain,  nor  my  enemies  foam  ; 

The  soil  kept  the  blood,  but  the  gold  was  sent 
home ; 

Yet  for  tribes  I  had  exiled  from  desolate  plains 

An  impeachment  was  all  I  received  for  my  pains. 

Old  England,  beware  !  for  the  time  is  approaching, 

"When,  shorn  of  thy  locks,  thou  shalt  cease  thy 
encroaching ; 

When  thy  men  shall  melt  off  into  climates  more  free, 

And  thy  colonies  spurn  at  dictation  from  thee ; 

"When  the  sun  of  thy  peerage  in  clouds  shall  have 
set, 

When  the  end  is  foreseen  of  thy  church  and  thy 
debt, 

When  thy  prestige  is  down  and  thy  glories  es 
tranged, 

The  wrongs  of  poor  India  will  then  be  avenged." 

Here's  a  beau  of  a  bishop  —  his  hat  in  his  hand. 
"  Walk  under  the  table,  Monsieur  TALLEYKAND. 


108  THE  SPIRIT  KAPPEES 


You've  been  dead  now  some  years  ;  we  should  like 

your  opinion 

On  the  recent  events  of  your  ancient  dominion. 
In  all  the  bouleversements  you've  happened  to 

meet, 
You  contrived,  like  a  cat,  to  come  down  on  your 

feet. 
Pray,  leave  your   dissemblings,  and  just  tell  us 

how 
You  think  in  old  Europe  they'll  manage  things 

now." 

"  Being  anxious  to  leave  my  acquaintance  in  peace, 
I  sealed  up  my  papers  before  my  decease  ; 
They  must  rest  thirty  }rears,  by  the  terms  of  my 

will, 
When  the  seals  will  be  cracked,  and  the  world 

learn  their  fill, 

In  the  mean  while,  (observe  that  I  make  no  allu 
sions,) 
There  is  space  for  at  least  five  or  six  revolutions, 


To  THEIR  MEDIUMS.  109 


At  the  end  of  which  time,  should  a  Bonaparte 
govern, 

My  unfortunate  papers  may  blaze  in  the  oven. 

There  are  now  two  big  emperors,  who  must  have 
their  sport ; 

Each  fancying,  doubtless,  that  war  is  his  forte  ; 

There  is  powder  unburnt,  both  in  guns  and  in  kegs  ; 

There  is  food  for  this  powder  still  walking  on  legs. 

The  czar  brings  half  Asia  from  mountain  and  flat ; 

He  will  give  three  for  one,  and  fatigue  you  at 
that; 

His  rival  sends  forward  gay  France  to  the  fight, 

With  dejected  John  Bull  as  a  bob  to  his  kite  ; 

When  the  men,  and  the  money,  and  powder  are 
done, 

Perhaps  they'll  conclude  it  is  troublesome  fun  ; 

Wfren  they've  tried  it  enough,  whether  losing  or 
winning, 

All  parties  will  quit  —  much  the  worse  for  be 
ginning." 


110  THE  SPIRIT  RAPPERS 


"Ride  forward,  DON   QUIXOTE,  thy  lance  in  the 

rest ; 

Of  all  Rozinantes  thy  own  was  the  best. 
Shall  not  history  grant  thee  a  dignified  place  ? 
Like  Rollo  and  Rudolph,  thou  foundest  a  race." 
"  I  have  founded  a  race  whose  illustrious  line 
Shall  survive  after  "  broods  more  antique  "  shall 

decline ; 

My  exploits  shall  be  copied  in  far  distant  times  ; 
My  descendants  shall  grace  the  remotest  of  climes. 
Macedonia's  madman,  and  Charles  the  wild  Swede, 
Like  myself,  were   inspired,  and   were   Quixotes 

indeed. 

The  emperor  Charles,  who  invaded  Algiers, 
And  Charles  the  Pretender,  had  just  my  ideas  ; 
So  had   Douglas  the  great,  of  the   Chevy  Chase 

story, 

And  Douglas  the  less,  who  rode  tilt  at  Missouri. 
Napoleon  charged  like  a  Quixote  on  Russia  j 
Murat  tried  his  crown  into  Naples  to  usher ; 


To  TUEIK  MEDIUMS.  Ill 


So  Shays  at  old  Springfield,  and  Burr  on  Ohio, 
With  Lopez  at  Cuba,  may  make  up  a  trio  ; 
And  if  you  demand  a  less' tangible  phantom, 
There's  Ericcson's  engine,  and  Paine's  Jack  o'  Ian- 
thorn  ; 
To   such   chivalrous  knights,  in   my  last    dying 

stanza, 

I   commend   the  grave  counsels   of  sage   Sancho 
Panza." 

"  Ah!  BENEDICT  ARNOLD,  —  must  you,  too,  appear? 
You  dog  of  a  traitor,  how  dare  you  come  here  ? 
Look  round  you  and  weep.   See  this  prosperous  soil, 
Which  you  once  did  your  utmost  to  blast  and  to 

spoil." 

"  I'm  a  dog  of  a  traitor,  —  in  that  we  agree,  — 
Anci  some  similar  dogs  have  been  heard  of  since 

me. 

You  began  your  rebellion,  not  looking  ahead, 
With  harebrains  like  me  for  your  hydra-like  head. 


112  THE  SPIRIT  RAPPERS 


You  owe  your  salvation,  as  all  the  world  knows, 
To  the  favor  of  luck  and  supineness  of  foes. 
Had  Howe  put  through  quick  the  concern  he  was 

sent  on  ; 

Had  Washington  failed  on  the  morning  of  Tren 
ton; 

Had  Louis  adhered  to  his  favorite  trade, 
And  rat  traps,  not  treaties,  been  all  that  he  made  ; 
Had  Andre  got  off,  with  your  fate  in  his  boots,  — 
Your  grand  revolution  had  gone  by  the  roots. 
Be  not  hastily  puffed  with  your  honors  and  goods  ; 
7Tis  the  true  time  to  crow  when  you're  out  of  the 

woods. 

I  see  your  far-famed  constitution  to  shake, 
And  the  bonds  of  your  Union  are  strained  till 

they  break. 

There  are  pupils  of  mine  wide  awake  in  the  land, 
"With  the  time-approved  watchword,  '  Divide  and 
command.' " 


To  THEIR  MEDIUMS.  113 


"  All  hail,  noble  FRANKLIN  !  the  right  hand  that 

wrings 
The  lightning  from  heaven,  and  the  sceptre  from 

kings, 

May  well  be  invoked  as  a  competent  guide, 
To  give  us  a  view  of  the  world's  brighter  side. 
We  read  your  Poor  Eichard,  we  fancy  your  dress, 
We  talk  with  your  lightning,  and  print  with  your 

press ; 

'Tis  a  problem  to  solve  not  unworthy  of  you, 
What  this  wide  western  world  may  be  destined 

to  do." 

"  You  flatter  Poor  Richard  to  ask  his  advice, 
But  the  question  is  fair,  and  shall  not  be  asked 

twice. 

I  once  had  a  project  —  'twas  all  in  my  eye  — 
To  be  bottled  up  tight,  like  a  winter-killed  fly, 
And  then  be  thawed  out  at  the  end  of  a  century, 
With  leave  to  look  round,  and  to  take  an  in-ven- 

tory. 


114  THE  SPIRIT  RAPPEES 


Two  thirds  of  that  period  have  now  passed  away  ; 
As  you  give  me  a  chance,  I'll  have  something  to  say. 
Having  rested  a  moment  to  cool  my  surprise, 
Recovered  my  breathing,  and  rubbed  up  my  eye?, 
It  strikes  me,  (my  terms  are,  perhaps,  out  of  use,) 
That  the  world  has  run  riot,  and  hell  has  broke 

loose. 

There  is  racing  and  chasing  on  east  and  on  west, 
There  is  rushing  and  pushing,  and  all  things  but 

rest ; 

Men  seem  to  be  travelling  on  engines  like  flyers, 
Having  sent  off  their  notions  ahead  upon  wires  : 
No  wonder  they  need  some  new  methods  to  go  it, 
Now  you  cut  off  their  legs  without  letting  them 

know  it. 

Here's  a  new  yard  of  cloth,  wove  itself  in  a  minute  ; 
It  used  to  take  three  days  to  weave  or  to  spin  it. 
Here  are  sewing  machines,  and  machines  for  brick- 
making, 
For  spinning  and  knitting,  for  brewing  and  baking. 


To  THEIR  MEDIUMS.  115 


This  new-fangled  printing  I  hope  to  look  into, 
But    this    painting  by   light  is  rank  witchcraft 

akin  to. 

Now  you  can't  go  to  sleep  in  the  old  quiet  way, 
Because  gas  lights  are  turning  the  night  into  day. 
We  thought  our  spring  ice  melted-  off  none  too  soon  ; 
Now  you  swallow  strange  ices  in  August  and  June. 
I  went  for  improvement,  when  firm  on  my  legs  ; 
But  there's  reason,  you  know,  in  the  roasting  of 

eggs; 

And  I  cannot  quite  follow  the  creed  you  esteem, 
That  the  chief  end  of  man  is  to  keep  up  the  steam. 
So  I  draw  from  the  whole  the  conclusion  it  brings, 
There's  a  great  deal  too  much  of  a  great  many 

things. 

"  There  are  too  many  mills,  both  of  cotton  and 

woollen. 
There   are   too   many  stocks  to   entrap   a  green 

fool  in. 


116  THE  SPIKIT  RAPPERS 


You  have  too  many  railroads  —  if  this  you  should 

doubt, 

Ask  those  that  are  in  how  they'd  like  to  get  out. 
You  have  too  many  ships,  and  you've  too  many 

banks, 
And  too   many  landsharks   at  work  with  their 

pranks. 

You  have  cities,  on  paper,  beyond  what  are  proper, 
And  too  many  mines  of  gold,  iron,  and  copper. 
You  have  too  many  silks — more  than  prudence 

requires ; 
Which,  Poor  Richard  has  told  you,  put  out  kitchen 

fires. 
You  have  far  too  much  money,  and  that  makes  the 

trouble  ; 
Though  your  shirt  may  cost  less,  yet  your  dinner 

costs  double. 

You  obtain  too  much  credit ;  for  he  who  goes  bor 
rowing, 
Poor  Richard  says  also,  will  find  he  goes  sorrowing. 


To  THEIE  MEDIUMS.  117 


You  have  too  many  presses  and  type  loads  of  trash, 
Which  inundate  the  country  with  poor  balderdash, 
And  render  it  hard  to  decide  in  a  verse 
Whether  printing  be  most  of  a  blessing  or  curse. 
You  have  too  many  stumps  that  uphold  agitators, 
Reformers  and  rogues,  politicians  and  traitors. 

"  Notwithstanding  all  this,  I  might  say,  if  I  saw  fit, 
That  your  country  is  safe,  or  Poor  Richard's  no 

prophet. 

The  machine  is  wound  up  in  a  firm  constitution, 
And  can  go  by  itself,  and  not  fear  revolution. 
If  property  sinks  in  a  chorus  of  groaners, 
There  are  few  things  so  bad  that  they  cannot  find 

owners. 
If  a  debtor  deceases  perplexed  in  affairs, 

Mffc 

The  estate  gets  untwisted  by  lawyers  or  heirs. 
If  in  prosperous  times  the  good  people  run  riot, 
They  are  brought  to  their  senses  by  time  and  low 
diet. 


118  THE  SPIRIT  RAPPERS 


If  gold  is  abundant,  then  fools  will  make  schemes, 
And  no  mines  can  keep  pace  with  their  castles  and 

dreams ; 

And  when  they  discover  the  gold  is  not  theirs, 
Down  tumble  their  castles  and  vanish  their  airs ; 
And  lastly,  with  nothing  their  credit  to  prop, 
As  the  worst  that  befalls  them,  they  pull  up  and 

stop.  — 

The  pestilent  press  has  its  death  in  its  birth  ; 
The  world  understand  it  at  what  it  is  worth, 
And  rival  defamers  extinguish  each  other, 
As  one  poison's  antidote  lies  in  another  ; 
And  as  for  the  men  who  assemble  in  clumps, 
And,    Witherington-like,    shout    and    fight    upon 

stumps, 

In  the  depths  of  a  valley  or  top  of  a  high  hill, 
I  consider  them  —  vox  et  praeterea  nihil. 
They  who  write  and  who  stump  are  the  froth  and 

the  foam ; 
The  strength  of  the  country  is  quiet  at  home. 


To  THEIR,  MEDIUMS.  119 


Commend  me  the  man  who  just  minds  his  own 
business, 

And  keeps  out  of  places  of  danger  and  dizziness. 

While  the  mob  raises  mushrooms  and  tumbles  them 
down, 

His  thrift  and  his  products  are  always  his  own. 

You  have  fine  institutions  for  blind  and  for  lame  ; 

Asylums  for  paupers,  retreats  for  insane  ; 

The  thing  you  most  want,  in  your  present  condi 
tions, 

Is  an  ample  retreat  for  distressed  politicians. 

I  think  a  good  treadmill  the  best  kind  of  charity, 

Where  the  ups  and  the  downs  are  not  wholly  a 
rarity. 

The  conservative  class  mind  their  own  private 
cares, 

And  scarce  know  who  dances  at  head  of  affairs. 

An  election  comes  round,  and  two  platforms  are 
made, 

Differing  each  from  the  other  the  split  of  a  shade ; 


120  THE  SPIRIT  RAPPERS 


The  trifling  distinction  held  out  for  your  viewing 
Is,  that  one  is  salvation,  the  other  rank  ruin.  — 
The  race  course  is  opened  ;  the  betters  take  sides, 
As  they  happen  to  fancy  the  jockey  that  rides  ; 
When  the  stakes  are  decided,  the  losers  and  win 
ners 

"Walk  quietly  home  and  look  out  for  their  dinners. 
The  peace  is  not  broken  for  this  time,  (I  guess  so,) 
For  each  man  is  a  magistrate,  (Lamartine  says  so,) 
With  a  stake  to  be  lost  by  a  reign  of  disorder  ; 
So  he  gives  a  sure  voice  to   support  law  and 

order. 

A  mutual  dependence  keeps  all  things  at  rest 
With  the  North  and  the  South,  and  the  East  and 

the  West : 

There  is  only  one  reason  why  discord  should  swell ; 
Politicians  must  feed,  and  newspapers  must  sell : 
But  though  speeches  are  hot  and  though  columns 

are  spicy, 
The  intractable  public  keeps  quiet  and  icy.  — 


To  THEIR  MEDIUMS.  121 


You  have  nothing  to  fear  as  to  bloodshed  and  strife 
In  a  land  where  each  man  owns  a  hut  and  a  wife." 

The  spirits  are  gone,  and  the  room  is  now  clear  ; 

There  is  nothing  remaining  to  see  or  to  hear  ; 

The  company  now  may  take  hats  and  go  home  — 

Stop  —  hark  —  there's  a  snoring  going  on  in  the 
room. 

It  is  old  RIP  VAN  WINKLE,  as  usual,  caught  nap 
ping  ; 

They  left  him  behind,  for  they  thought  him  past 
rapping. 

Hush  —  softly  —  keep  dark  —  and  on  tiptoe  ad 
vance  ; 

They  say  that  he  manifests  best  in  a  trance. 

"  I  am  looking,  in  dreams,  on  the  people  about  us ; 

There  are  some  who  believe,  there  are  others  who 
flout  us  • 

But  I  have  it  revealed,  on  substantial  authority, 

The  believers  are  likely  to  get  the  majority  ; 


122  THE  SPIRIT  RAPPEES 


And  if  drilled  as  a  party,  in  most  of  the  states. 

They  will  sweep  next  election,  in  spite  of  the  fates. 

I've  the  strongest  reluctance  my  snoozing  to  break 
up; 

Yet  if  public  good  calls,  why,  Van  Winkle  must 
wake  up. 

If  you  think  my  appearance  would  prove  influ 
ential, 

You  may  enter  my  name  for  the  race  presidential. 

I  never  belonged  to  a  parliament  rump  ; 

I'm  too  hoarse  for  a  speech,  and  too  old  for  the 
stump  ; 

But,  methinks,  there  is  ground  for  a  public  appeal, 

For  what  you  can't  prove,  why,  the  ghosts  can 
reveal. 

You've  had  president  bullies  and  presidents  free, 

But  you'll  never  get  one  half  so  quiet  as  me. 

Your  strength  as  a  party  shall  wax  manifold, 

When  the  spirits  shall  vote,  and  the  dead  heads  be 
polled ; 


To  THEIR  MEDIUMS.  123 


When  judges  in  courts   shall   acknowledge   our 

fitness, 

And  a  rapper  be  held  as  a  competent  witness, 
And  long-eared  believers  shall  sit  upon  juries, 
And  rogues  shall  be  hanged  on  the  strength  of 

ghosts'  stories. 
And  when  things  are  composed  by  the  force  of 

good  orders, 
We  will  all  go  to  sleep,  and  have  peace  in  our 

borders. 
Good  night,  —  I  have  done,  —  and  you  tease  me  in 

vain  ; 
'  You  have  waked  me  too  soon  —  I  must  slumber 

again.' " 


Cjje  Crcdttig 


(125) 


First  China's  sons,  with  early  art  elate, 
Formed  the  gay  teapot  and  the  pictured  plate, 
Saw,  with  illumined  brow  and  dazzled  eyes, 
In  the  red  stove  vitrescent  colors  rise, 
Speck  her  tall  beakers  with  enamelled  stars, 
Her  monster  josses  and  gigantic  jars, 
Smeared  her  huge  dragons  with  metallic  hues, 
With  golden  purples  and  cobaltic  blues, 
Bade  on  wide  hills  her  porcelain  castles  glare, 
And  glazed  pagodas  tremble  in  the  air. 

DARWIN. 

(126) 


THE    CROCKERY  MAKERS. 


BY  T.  B. 


T  ET  the  fly  wheel  steam  it  round 
•*-*  Till  the  clay  to  pulp  be  ground  ; 
Let  no  hand  knock  off  from  labor 
Till  every  man  has  beat  his  neighbor. 

"  What  the  temple  we  would  build  " 

To  be  with  crockery  vessels  filled  ? 

Give  it  no  bad  names  for  malice  — 

Is  it  prison  —  is  it  palace  ? 

Is  it  tower  for  lord  and  vassal  ? 

Is  it  an  enchanted  castle  ?  — 

It  seems  fit  place  our  wares  to  shove  in  ; 

Faith,  its  nothing  but  an  oven. 

(127) 


128  THE  CROCKERY  MAKERS. 


Now  the  fire  above  has  got, 
Now  the  saggers  grow  red  hot, 
Shining  with  infernal  glory, 
Miniatures  of  purgatory. 

Fairest  forms  are  there  in  prison, 
Doomed  to  bake  before  they're  risen, 
Cups  and  saucers,  plates  and  dishes, 
Heads  of  dogs  and  tails  of  fishes, 
Beauteous  nymphs  in  bas  reliefs, 
Heroes  bold  and  Indian  chiefs, 
Burning  to  chastise  their  clay, 
Burning,  burning,  night  and  day. 

Stop,  they've  now  burned  up  the  fuel  ; 
Longer  burning  would  be  cruel  — 
Only  makes  them  hard  and  stout : 
Cool  them  down  and  take  them  out ; 
Place  them  on  the  retail  shelf ; 
Pick  and  choose,  and  suit  yourself. 


THE  CROCKERY  MAKERS.  129 


Lo,  a  splendid  table  rising, 
Made  upon  the  extension  plan, 

Legs  carved  out  with  art  surprising, 
Polished  leaves  of  broadest  span  ;  — 

Damask  cloths,  of  milky  whiteness, 
Covering  bars  that  bars  receive, 

Frames  of  ash,  whose  bolt-uprightness 
Stands  unmoved  though  spirits  heave. 

Now,  like  orient  sun  arising, 

Flames  the  dinner  service  bright, 

Meet  excuse  for  gormandizing, 
Reason  strong  for  appetite  ;  — 

Deep  tureen  of  gold  and  crimson 
Flashing  back  the  gas  light  rays, 

Dish  that  pigs  might  stretch  their  limbs  on, 
Barbecued  in  western  ways. 
9 


130  THE  CROCKERY  MAKERS. 


There  shall  sit  the  guests  and  diners, 
Ladies  fair  assigned  to  beaux  ; 

There  shall  soak  the  ancient  winers  ; 
There  the  worn-out  wits  shall  prose. 

Repartees  shall  there  be  bandied, 
Formal  laughs  at  would-be  jokes, 

Laws  and  times  to  be  amended, 
Covert  gibes  at  absent  folks. 

Latest  news  discussed  and  sifted, 
Public  measures  weighed  and  scanned, 

Long  harangues  from  parties  gifted, 
Audience  from  the  meek  and  bland. 

Soups  of  white,  and  soups  of  brown, 
Turtle,  ham,  and  game,  and  mutton, 

Enough  to  save  a  starving  town, 

Enough  to  glut  a  moderate  glutton  ;  — • 


THE  CROCKERY  MAKERS.  131 


Turkeys  ready  stuffed  for  stuffing, 
Foie  gras  pates  from  the  shelves, 

Vol  au  vents  that  need  no  puffing, 
Omelettes  nice,  that  puff  themselves. 

Such  fine  dishes  shall  not  linger  ; 

Vain  the  attempt  to  eat  them  all. 
Lo,  behold !  —  a  fiery  finger 

Flames  along  the  parlor  wall. 

"  Gout  and  palsy  are  your  waiters, 

Colic  and  dyspepsia  too  ; 
Lo,  the  devil  stands  and  caters 

Wines  and  meats  for  dupes  like  you." 

n. 

Let  the  fly  wheel  steam  it  round 
Till  the  clay  to  pulp  be  ground  ; 
Let  no  hand  knock  off  from  labor 
Till  every  man  has  beat  his  neighbor. 


132  THE  CROCKERY  MAKERS. 


Hark !  what  means  this  clink  and  clattering  ? 
Whence  proceeds  this  noise  of  chattering  ? 
Worse  than  magpies  in  the  fable  — 
Lo,  the  tea  is  on  the  table ! 

Summoned  here  by  special  favor, 
Aged  dames  and  damsels  young 

Take  their  sip  from  cups  of  Sevres, 

Quickening  draught  for  dormant  tongue. 

Maiden  blue  and  sage  duenna 
Ope  their  hearts  in  council  free. 

Pope  has  said  that  great  Queen  Anna 
Counsel  took,  and  then  took  tea. 

Cups  and  saucers  shift  and  rattle ; 

High  the  fragrant  steam  ascends  ; 
Louder  grows  the  mingling*  tattle  ; 

Less  the  chance  for  absent  friends. 


THE  CKOCKERY  MAKERS.  133 


Reputations  shake  and  tremble       * 
As  the  steaming  mass  gets  strong  ; 

Sips  of  scandal  quite  resemble 
Sips  of  Hyson  or  Oolong. 

Mould  the  teacup  brief  and  brittle, 
Strongest  engine  of  the  town  ; 

Reputation's  worth  but  little  — 

Tea  and  tongues  can  bring  it  down. 


Cento. 


(135) 


Haste  thee,  nymph,  and  bring  with  thee 
Jest  and  youthful  jollity, 
Quips  and  cranks,  and  wanton  wiles, 
Nods  and  becks,  and  wreathed  smiles 
Such  as  hang  on  Hebe's  cheek, 
And  love  to  live  in  dimple  sleek, 
Come,  and  trip  it  as  you  go 
On  the  light  fantastic  toe. 

MELTON,  L'ALLEGRO. 

(136) 


TO    CERITO. 

BY  G.   L. 

T1THENCE  comest  tliou,  beautiful  Cerito, 

Poised  in  air  like  a  mosquito, 
Bounding  up  with  sudden  spring, 
Settling  down  with  folded  wing. 
Hanging  o'er  thy  pivot  toe, 
Whirling  to  and  spinning  fro. 
How  thy  arms,  with  wreathing  grace, 
Circle  thy  bewitching  face, 
Tossing  hands  like  water  jets, 
With  waving  flowers  or  castanets  1 
Round  in  rapid  circles  go, 
Whirling  heel  and  mincing  toe, 

(137) 


138  To  CERITO. 

Swifter,  faster,  without  stop, 
Whizzing  like  a  humming  top, 
Till  baffled  dress  deserts  thy  form, 
And  soars  like  gossamer  in  the  storm, 
While  plaudits  burst  in  full  tornado, 
And  bravos  ring  at  thy  bravado. 

Now  thy  light  and  fairy  science, 
Setting  gravity  at  defiance, 
Hangs  thee  up  in  middle  air, 
As  if  suspended  by  a  hair, 
Swinging,  quivering,  flying,  flitting, 
Solid  earth  but  seldom  hitting, 
Till  at  length,  from  seraph  flight, 
On  the  boards  thou  deign'st  to  light. 
Bowing  to  the  audience  low, 
Stretching  back  thy  hinder  toe, 
Floating  at  rest  like  alligator, 
Or  some  bird  of  sailing  nature, 
Lifting  thy  large  and  lustrous  eyes, 
Just  while  the  ravished  audience  dies, 


To  CERITO.  139 

Then  sinking  in  the  green  room  breathless, 
To  feel  thyself  half  dead  —  though  deathless. 

In  what  sort  of  common  metre 
Shall  we  sing  thee,  glorious  creature  ? 
Thou  art  like  a  rivulet  gay, 
Sending  wide  its  joyous  spray  ; 
Like  a  tuft  of  thistle  down 
Swept  in  air  from  pastures  brown  ; 
Like  the  dust  in  summer  curling, 
When  the  zephyr  sets  it  whirling  ; 
Like  the  lark  that  mounts  on  high 
Pirouetting  through  the  sky  ; 
Like  the  swallow's  rapid  motion, 
Skimming  over  land  and  ocean  ; 
Like  a  squirrel,  caged  in  wire, 
Spinning  to  his  heart's  desire  ; 
Like  the  buzzing  of  the  fly 
Trapped  and  caught  by  spider  sly  ; 
Like  the  sighs  which  fall  on  flowers 
From  lovers'  hearts  in  moonlit  bowers  ; 


140  To  CERITO. 

Like  a  joy  that  leaves  us  glad  ; 
Like  a  pain  that  makes  us  mad. 
So  thy  swift  and  fairy  motion 
Fills  us  with  sublime  emotion. 

Then  dance  on,  most  fair  Cerito  ; 
All  thy  charms  we  bow  the  knee  to. 
Hearts  are  shaking  on  thy  foot 
Of  all  these  worshippers  so  mute. 
Pursue  thine  airy  football  play, 
But  kick —  0,  kick  not  hearts  away. 


of  % 


(141) 


Ac  veluti  lentis  Cyclopes  fulmlna  massis 
Cum  properant,  alii  taurinis  follibus  auras 
Accipiunt  redduntque,  alii  stridentia  tingunt 
./Era  lacu ;  gemit  impositis  incudibus  JEtna. 
Uli  inter  sese  magna  vi  brachia  tollunt, 
In  numerum,  versantque  tenaci  forcipe  ferrum. 
VDRGIL,  GEORGICOX,  lib.  iv. 

(142) 


SONG  OF  THE  BLACKSMITHS. 

BY  J.  G.  W. 

flame  is  kindling  on  the  forge, 

The  coal  is  blazing  higher, 
The  heaving  bellows  sink  and  surge, 

And  snaps  the  crackling  fire. 
Rise  up,  ye  merry  blacksmiths  all, 

Exulting  in  your  lot, 
And,  waiting  for  no  second  call, 

Strike  while  the  iron's  hot. 

The  sweat,  that  down  your  dusky  face 
Descends  like  drops  of  rain, 

Shall  only  leave  its  lines  of  grace 
In  somewhat  paler  stain. 

(143) 


144  SONG  OF  THE  BLACKSMITHS. 


The  stoker  in  his  gloomiest  plight, 

With  cheek  of  Afric  hue, 
Shall  think  himself  an  angel  white,- 

Whene'er  he  looks  at  you. 

Gird  on  your  leathern  aprons  fast, 

Your  sleeves  to  elbows  roll, 
And  blow  your  deep,  infernal  blast, 

And  conflagrate  your  coal. 
The  iron  bars,  whose  ends  retreat, 

Like  foes  in  hostile  lands, 
Shall  soften  at  the  welding  heat, 

And  join  fraternal  hands. 

Your  sinewy  arms  their  hammers  raise 
To  stamp  you  good  and  great ; 

Each  man,  as  Sallust  somewhere  says, 
Is  blacksmith  to  his  fate  ; 

Brave  hands  have  shaped  the  axe's  edge 
And  tempered  sabres  keen  ; 


SONG  OF  THE  BLACKSMITHS.  146 


Renowned  old  Vulcan  swung  the  sledge, 
And  so  did  General  Greene. 

For  you  in  deep  Acadian  mines 

The  sunless  collier  toils, 
And  earns  the  bread  for  which  he  pines, 

"While  you  receive  the  spoils. 
A  hundred  schooners  coastwise  bound, 

And  sloops  as  many  more, 
For  you  discharge  and  cast  around 

Their  black  Cocytian  store. 

For  you,  in  dark  and  pathless  woods, 

The  charcoal  burner  wakes, 
And  piles  his  unconsuming  goods 

Above  the  fire  he  makes  ; 
A  mound  of  suffocating  earth 

Keeps  down  the  smouldering  flame, 
Till  coals,  extinguished  in  their  birth, 

Wait  your  unquestioned  claim. 
10 


146  SONG  OF  THE  BLACKSMITHS. 


Mark,  how  with  pyrotechnic  glare 

The  iron  flashes  out, 
And  radiant  sparks,  too  bright  to  bear, 

Are  lightening  round  about ; 
And  in  these  philanthropic  lands, 

Where  none  may  slavery  urge, 
Unchecked  and  unrelenting  hands 

"  The  groaning  anvil  scourge." 

The  iron  rod,  that  cools  or  warms, 

Is  servant  to  your  will, 
And  horseshoes  take  crescentic  forms 

From  your  artistic  skill. 
To  give  you  their  commending  proof 

They  seek  their  various  place ; 
Bucephalus  wore  them  on  his  hoof, 

Redgauntlet  on  his  face. 

The  sailor,  in  his  desperate  hour, 
-  Shall  hold  his  horseshoe  fast, 


SONG  OF  THE  BLACKSMITHS.  147 


And  strong  in  witch-defying  power, 

Shall  nail  it  to  the  mast. 
The  haggard  witch,  who  lurks  around 

With  evil-omened  glare, 
Will  have  to  turn  her  broomstick  round, 

And  vanish  through  the  air. 

When  despots  kept  mankind  in  thrall, 

You  served  their  iron  will, 
And  bolts  and  grates  of  prison  walls 

Bore  witness  to  your  skill : 
But  now  your  far  more  grateful  trade 

Shall  loose  the  captive's  chain  ; 
The  hands  that  first  the  fetters  made 

Can  saw  them  best  in  twain. 

In  feudal  times  by  blacksmiths'  hands 
The  warrior's  lance  was  steeled, 

And  helmed  heads  of  hostile  bands 

Went  thundering  through  the  field. 


148  SONG  OF  THE  BLACKSMITHS. 


But  now  the  sword's  too  trenchant  blade 

The  ploughshare's  form  shall  take, 
And  pruning  hooks  shall  trees  invade, 
And  gridirons,  once  for  martyrs  made, 
Shall  only  broil  beefsteak. 

Then  let  the  flame  surmount  the  forge, 

And  let  the  coal  blaze  higher, 
And  let  the  bellows  sink  and  surge, 

And  snap  the  crackling  fire ; 
And  let  the  merry  blacksmiths  rise, 

Contented  with  their  lot, 
And  seizing  on  the  proffered  prize, 

Strike  while  the  iron's  hot. 


m  tto  (fast 


(149) 


When,  at  kst,  we  began  to  move  up,  he  could  scarcely 
avoid  turning  round,  to  cast  one  affectionate  look  towards  Chris 
tendom  ;  but  quickly  again  he  marched  on,  with  the  steps  of  a 
man ;  not  frightened,  exactly,  but  sternly  prepared  for  death, 

or  the  Koran,  or  even  for  plural  wives. 

EOTHEN. 

(150) 


THE  POET  IN  THE  EAST. 


BY   B. 


Poet  came  to  the  land  of  the  East 

With  a  disappointed  air  ; 
He  thought  Earth  needed  a  wedding  feast, 

She  looked  so  thin  and  bare. 
And  the  poet  knew  the  land  of  the  East, 

Though  he  never  had  been  there. 

All  things  to  him  were  visible  forms 
Of  things  not  dreamed  before  ; 

Familiar  visions  of  sights  unknown 
On  the  far-off  western  shore. 

As  they  glanced  in  the  gold  of  clouds  unrolled, 
They  served  to  surprise  him  more. 

(151) 


152  THE  POET  IN  THE 


He  looked  above  in  the  cloudless  calm 

At  the  sun  he  had  seen  of  old, 
While  the  breath  of  gardens,  like  sage  and  balm, 

About  his  nostrils  rolled  ; 
And  he  met  his  brother,  the  princely  Palm, 

And  gave  him  the  shoulder  cold. 

His  feet  went  forth  on  the  myrtled  hills, 

But  the  flowers  were  strange  and  mute  ; 

The  meads  of  milk-white  asphodels 
Disliked  his  trampling  foot ; 

And  the  scarlet  poppies  so  fiery  seemed 
He  thought  they  would  scorch  his  boot. 

And  half  in  shade  and  half  in  sun 

The  Peach  sat  on  her  tree  ; 
With  a  passionate  thrill  in  her  stony  heart 

She  was  waiting  her  lord  to  see  ; 
When  a  kiss  and  a  bite  at  her  crimson  cheek 

Showed  the  Poet  was  making  free. 


THE  POET  IN  THE  EAST.  153 


The  Nightingale,  who  sat  above, 

In  the  boughs  that  were  hanging  o'er, 

Sang,  "  We  are  no  rivals,  brother  mine  ; 
So  don't  be  jealous  more  : 

The  fruit  that  you  bit  with  so  fresh  a  gout 
Had  been  bitten  by  me  before." 

And  further  spake  the  Nightingale  : 

"  Before  you  hangs  a  prize  ; 
I  heard  the  sound  of  a  Persian  lute, 

And  a  love-sick  ditty  rise, 
And  like  two  stars,  through  the  lattice  bars, 
I  saw  a  sultana's  eyes." 

And  the  Poet  said,  "  I'll  here  abide, 

If  I  sit  outside  the  door, 
To  catch  a  glimpse  of  those  brilliant  eyes, 

And  hear  that  music  pour, 
Though  a  sack  should  threaten  our  dawning  loves, 

And  a  bowstring  be  in  store." 


164  THE  POET  IN  THE  EAST. 


All  hail  to  this  Oriental  clime, 

Where  true  love  needs  no  masking  ; 

Where  flowers  in  the  sun,  and  lutes  in  the  moon, 
Respectively  lie  basking ; 

And  Nightingales  tell  you,  in  Arabic, 
Where  sultanas  are  found  by  asking. 


NOTE.  —  The  publishing  committee  are  of  opinion  that  their 
friend,  the  Poet  in  the  East,  has  not  done  himself  justice  on  the 
present  occasion.  Had  he  favored  the  public  -with  an  apostrophe  to 
the  Nile,  to  Mount  Tmolus,  or  to  Patience,  there  is  little  doubt  that 
they  would  assign  him  a  place  in  the  front  rank  of  American  poets. 


of  %  Steamer. 


(155) 


Voyager  est,  qiioi  qu'on  puisse  dire,  un  des  plus  tristes 

plaisirs  de  k  vie. 

MAD.  DE  STAEL,  CORINNE. 

(156) 


SONG   OF   THE   STEAMER. 


BY  J.   G. 


BUSHING  through  the  ocean, 
•*•*  Rolling  in  the  breeze, 
Riding  over  billows, 

Pitching  into  seas, 
Shaking  with  the  engine, 

Screaming  with  the  blast, 
Mighty  pleasant  mode  of 

Going  rather  fast. 

Staggering  on  deck  be- 
Cause  you  cannot  stand, 

Holding  on  the  railing 
With  a  shaky  hand, 

(157) 


158  S-ONG    OF    THE    STEAMER. 


Now  the  floor  is  settling 
Underneath  your  feet, 

Now  it  heaves  you  up  like 
Tossing  in  a  sheet. 

Sailors  looking  red  and 

Ladies  looking  pale, 
Captain  comes  along,  and 

Says  it's  quite  a  gale  ; 
Passengers  inquire  how 

Long  it's  like  to  last ; 
Captain  shakes  his  head  —  "  It's 

Rising  very  fast." 

Gentleman  in  motion, 
Looking  quite  distressed, 

Says  he'd  give  his  house  for 
Half  an  hour's  rest. 

Fidgety  old  lady 

Wonders  he  could  sup, 


SONG  OF  THE  STEAMER.  159 


Has  a  poor  opinion 
Of  his  bringing  up. 

Invalid  complaining, 

Not  the  slightest  doubt 
Another  fit  of  straining 

Will  turn  him  inside  out ; 
Lady  on  the  sofa, 

Lying  dead  almost, 
Nothing  more  to  give  up, 

Unless  it  be  the  ghost. 

Gentleman  in  upper  berth 

Little  sleep  enjoys, 
Gentleman  beneath  is 

Making  such  a  noise  ; 
Gentleman  in  lower  berth 

Timid  sort  of  chap, 
'Fraid  to  put  his  head  out, 

Fear  of  some  mishap. 


160  SONG  OF  THE  STEAMER. 


Dinner  bell  is  ringing, 

Dishes  under  cover, 
Glasses  pitching  round,  and 

Gravy  pitching  over ; 
Half  the  chairs  are  empty, 

Folks  are  out  of  joint, 
Could  not  bring  their  minds  up 

To  the  sticking  point. 

Villanous  beef  eaters, 

Been  to  sea  before, 
Eat  five  meals  a  day.  'cause 

Not  content  with  four  — 
Soup,  and  fish,  and  turkeys, 

Ham  and  cheese  for  lunch, 
Mutton,  pork,  and  oysters, 

Ale  and  whiskey  punch. 

Miserable  sick  ones, 
Looking  on  in  wonder, 


SONG  OF  THE  STEAMER.  161 


Question  how  they  do  it, 
In  the  name  of  thunder  : 

Gormandizing  rascals 
Say  it's  all  a  sham  ; 

Recommend,  to  cure  them, 
Pork,  and  tripe,  and  ham. 

Weather  getting  smoother, 

Stomachs  getting  quiet, 
Passengers,  more  tranquil, 

Try  a  little  diet ; 
Many  come  to  life  whose 

Company  was  missed ; 
'Stead  of  playing  'possum, 

Now  they're  playing  whist. 

Tea  in  requisition, 

Gossip  gets  about ; 
Some  are  growing  curious, 

Finding  others  out ; 
11 


162  SONG  OF  THE  STEAMER. 


Wonder  where  they  came  from  ; 

Wonder  what  they're  doing  ; 
Wonder  what  their  names  are  ; 

Wonder  where  they're  going. 

Legislative  member 

Puts  an  end  to  doubt ; 
Colonel  in  disguise  be- 

Gins  to  let  it  out : 
Both  are  going  to  London  ; 

Nothing  shall  prevent  them  ; 
Mean  to  see  the  minister  ; 

Think  he  must  present  them. 

Cunning-visaged  Yankee 
Looking  sharp  and  slim, 

Says  he  guesses  folks  won't 
Come  it  over  him  ; 

Means  to  shave  his  dinners  ; 
Prudent  like  a  monk, 


SONG  OF  THE  STEAMER.  163 


Got  a  pound  of  candles 
Locked  up  in  his  trunk. 

Swaggering  western  rowdy 

Will  do  as  he  sees  fit ; 
Means  to  go  to  Fenton's  ; 

Means  to  smoke  and  spit ; 
Keeps  a  pair  of  pistols, 

Wears  a  bowie  knife  ; 
Never  took  an  insult, 

Never  in  his  life. 

Sturdy  looking  lender 

Claps  him  on  the  back, 
"  Pay  your  borrowed  money  ; 

Give  us  less  of  clack." 
Aggravated  rowdy 

Bullies  more  and  more. 
Captain  says,  "  We'll  fix  him 

When  we  get  ashore." 


164  SONG  OF  THE  STEAMEB. 


Man  has  got  a  gimcrack 

Patented  anew  ; 
Going  abroad  to  sell  it ; 

Offers  it  to  you  ; 
Speaks  of  wooden  nutmegs, 

Very  fine  device, 
Much  more  economical 

Than  any  other  spice. 

Greenhorn  going  to  London 

To  see  the  Coliseum  ; 
Heard  of  gladiators, 

Wishes  much  to  see  'em  ; 
Uncle  went  to  Florence  ; 

Now,  on  his  return, 
Thinks  the  Pitti  Palace 

A  pitiful  concern. 

Gentleman  of  business, 
Dealing  in  hardware, 


SONG  OF  THE  STEAMER.  165 


Going  straight  to  Sheffield 
To  see  how  prices  are. 

Lady  and  her  daughter, 
Travelling  express, 

Mean  to  take  a  courier, 
Cost  it  more  or  less. 

Dandy  must  assort  with 

Gentlemen  of  rank  ; 
Learns  the  best  hotel  is 

Summit  of  Mont  Blanc ; 
Nobody  resides  there 

But  the  highest  class. 
Acquiescent  company 

Write  him  down  an  ass. 

Lady,  getting  nervous, 

Sees  a  ship  in  sight, 
Hopes  they  will  not  run  us  down 

Sudden  in  the  night ; 


166  SONG  OF  THE  STEAMER. 


Gentleman  resolving, 

If  he  gets  to  shore, 
He'll  spend  his  life  on  t'other  side, 

And  never  steam  it  more. 

Rushing  through  the  ocean, 

Rolling  in  the  breeze, 
Heaving  over  billows, 

Pitching  into  seas, 
Shaking  with  the  engine, 

Screaming  with  the  blast, 
Comfortable  thing  to 

Be  arrived  at  last. 


(167) 


In  Scarlet  towne,  where  I  was  borne, 
There  was  a  fair  maid  dwellin', 

Made  every  youth  crye,  "  Wel-awaye !  " 
Her  name  was  Barbara  Allen. 

All  in  the  merrye  month  of  Maye, 
When  greene  buds  they  were  swellin', 

Young  Jemmye  Grove  on  his  death  bed  lay, 
For  love  of  Barbara  Allen. 

OLD  BALLAD. 

(168) 


BARBARA  ALLEN. 

BY   N.  P.  W. 
t. 

FTVEERE  -was  a  lady  fair  of  seventeen  ; 

There  was  a  youth,  perhaps  a  few  years  older  ; 
The  story  of  their  loves  is  strange,  I  ween, 

And  shows  that  love   should  not  be  left  to 

smoulder ; 

For  smothered  love,  eternal  though  unseen, 
Is  apt  to  blaze  instead  of  getting  colder  ; 
Even    though    its    early   hope    may   have    been 

blighted, 
Being  all  on  one  side,  therefore  unrequited. 


(169) 


170  BARBARA  ALLEN. 


ii. 

In  "  Scarlet  towne  "  our  lady  heroine  dwelt.  — 
Where  Scarlet  was  beseems  me  not  to  say  ; 

Its  mystic  name  few  Gazetteers  have  spelt, 
And  antiquarians  find  themselves  at  bay. 

Some  think  its  place  was  in  the  Torrid  belt, 
Some  in  the  Moon,  and  some  in  Hudson's  Bay  ; 

And  others,  entering  on  the  same  arena, 

Prove  'twas  the  ancient  Roman  Scarlatina. 


in. 

The  lady  is  already  known  to  song, 
And  Barbara  Allen  was  her  name,  they  say  ; 

Whether  she  dropped  it  soon,  or  kept  it  long, 
Depended  simply  on  her  ay  or  nay  ; 

For  history  states,  her  suitors,  quite  a  throng, 
Employed  their  time  in  crying,  "  Well  away  !  " 

And  many  a  proffered  heart  and  hand  was  there, 

For  which  the  obdurate  Barbara  did  not  care. 


BAKBARAALLEN.  171 


IV. 

Among  the  rest  young  Jemmy  Grove  was  sighing, 
(A  name  derived  from  sylvan  scenery  round.) 

From  childhood  up  the  young  man  had  been  trying 
To  make  impression  on  the  flinty  ground 

Of  her  hard  heart.  'Twas  vain  to  think  of  buying 
With  love  or  money  one  so  iron  bound  ; 

For  Barbara  was  a  cold  and  careless  creature, 

And  made  worse  work  with  hearts  than  I  with  metre. 


v. 

In  early  youth  they  both  had  run  together 

"  About  the  braes,"  and  found  it  pleasant  sport, 

And  lookers  on  were  heard  to  wonder  whether 
In  future  years  they  might  not  well  consort ; 

For  all  seemed  smooth  in  childhood's  sunny  weather, 
And  marked  attentions  came  and  went  as  nought. 

They  liked  each  other  with  a  childish  preference, 

Which  to  true  love  has  very  little  reference. 


172  BARBARA  ALLEX. 


VI. 

But  Jemmy,  being  of  the  two  the  older,  — 
A  fact  our  history  has  already  stated,  — 

Perhaps  sometimes  might  feel  a  little  bolder, 
And  think  his  birth  should  have  been  antedated  ; 

For  what  he  felt  when  seated  at  her  shoulder, 
If  called  true  love,  would  not  be  overrated. 

As  to  her  views  he  did  not  stop  to  reason, 

But  lived  and  loved,  and  had  his  little  season. 


VII. 

At  length  Miss  Barbara  was  sent  off  to  school, 
To  learn  accomplishments  and  practise  graces, — 

To  sing,  to  dance,  to  walk,  to  look,  by  rule  ; 
To  speak  new  languages  and  wear  new  faces  ; 

To  spend  long  hours  upon  a  music  stool  ; 
To  grow  a  judge  of  jewels,  books,  and  laces  ; 

In  short,  to  stifle  youth's  emotions  early, 

To  drop  the  natural,  and  assume  the  worldly. 


BARBARA  ALLEN.  173 


VIII. 

Young  Jemmy  Grove,  devoted  to  the  plough, 
Pursued,  meanwhile,  his  rustic  occupation, 

Not  once  imagining  nor  dreaming  how 

A  change  was  taking  place  in  their  relation. 

He  did  not  know  that  many  a  broken  vow 
Has  grown  from  smaller  difference  of  station. 

He  only  wished  he  had  a  house  to  dwell  in, 

A  nd  half  that  house  should  be  for  Barbara  Allen. 


IX. 

One  morning,  as  he  paused  to  rest  his  team, 
And  stood  reflecting  over  his  plough  handle, 

He  fell  into  a  sort  of  musing  dream, 

That  life  spent  all  in  ploughing  was  a  scandal. 

He  tried  to  hit  upon  some  better  scheme. 
He  thought  of  Plutus'  mine  and  Hymen's  candle. 

Bright  plans  for  future  bliss  were  stealing  o'er  him, 

When,  all  at  once,  a  vision  rose  before  him. 


174  BARBARA  ALLEN. 


x. 


For,  as  he  looked  across  the  neighboring  fence, 
That  stood  between  his  cornfield  and  the  road, 

A  lady's  image  struck  his  visual  sense, 
Dropped  from  the  sky,  a  Yenus  &  la  mode. 

Her  face  was  dazzling,  though  her  curls  were  dense, 
Her  mien  erect  and  stately  as  she  strode, 

And  when  she  turned  her  eyes  to  look  beside  her, 

Poor  Jemmy  only  opened  his  the  wider. 


XI. 


And  when  she  moved,  with  step  as  firm  as  airy, 
She  looked  a  goddess,  while  she  walked  a  queen  ; 

And  when  she  smiled,  bewitching  as  a  fairy, 
Her  sparkling  eye  illumined  all  the  scene. 

The  coining  of  her  neck,  a  little  chary, 
Served  to  give  piquancy  to  what  was  seen. 

So,  between  sparkling  eyes  and  snowy  skin, 

Poor  Jemmy  was  dumbfoundered,  and  caved  in. 


BARBARA  ALLEN.  175 


XII. 

"  Good  morning,  Mr.  Grove,"  the  stranger  said  ; 

"  Good  morning,  madam,"  was  the  brief  reply  ; 
During  which  dialogue  he  hung  his  head, 

And  hardly  seemed  to  know  the  reason  why. 
Her  manner  was  more  prompt,  and  better  bred, 

While  his  was  awkward,  hesitant,  and  shy. 
Some  slight  misgiving  seemed  to  cross  his  breast, 
Of  who  the  stranger  was  whom  he  addressed. 


XIII. 


But  then,  so  altered  were  her  form  and  mien, 
So  lady-like  in  all  she  did  and  said, 

Her  stature  tall,  quite  different  from  thirteen, 
With  such  a  true  patrician  toss  of  head,  — 

She  could  not  be  the  same,  his  childhood's  queen. 
He  felt  an  awkward  and  impulsive  dread. 

The  double  contrast  almost  made  him  bellow  ; 

He  thought  himself  a  mean  and  shabby  fellow. 


176  BARBARA  ALLEN. 


XIV. 

'•  This  exercise,"  she  said,  "  improves  the  cheek  "  — 
He  drew  his  sleeve  across  it,  and  was  mute. 

"  In  ploughing  time  one's  costume's  not  so  sleek  "  — 
He  wished  she'd  seen  him  in  his  Sunday  suit. 

"  The  plough's  a  useful  instrument,  so  to  speak  " — 
He  wished  his  own  was  ten  leagues  under  foot. 

He  thought  'twas  plain  she  could  be  only  quizzing  ; 

The  mere  suspicion  set  his  ears  to  whizzing. 


"  Have  you  forgotten  Barbara,"  said  the  lady, — 
Her  voice  affecting  somewhat  of  the  tender,  — 

"  When  in  these  very  pastures,  cool  and  shady, 
You  gathered  dandelion  flowers  to  lend  her  ?  " 

The  chord  was  touched ;  but  little  more  delayed  he, 
For  she  had  roused  him  like  a  witch  of  Endor. 

He  bounded  forward  for  an  instant  smack  — 

Recoiled  —  stretched  out  his  hand  —  then  drew  it 
back. 


BARBARA  ALLEN.  177 


XVI. 

For  she  had  checked  him  with  a  look  severe, 
Which  seemed  to  say,  "  Hands  off,  you  vulgar 
clown ! " 

And  while  his  eye  was  moistened  with  a  tear, 
Her  own  was  darkened  with  an  angry  frown. 

He  wished  himself  well  stretched  upon  his  bier, 
So  heavily  this  unkind  cut  came  down  ; 

And  when  his  revery  was  fairly  banished, 

He  found  the  source  of  love  and  grief  had  vanished. 

XVII. 

A  great  deal  may  be  done  in  little  time  ; 

A  man  may  throw  the  dice  and  lose  his  fortune  ; 
Or  put  a  pistol  bullet  through  his  head, 

To  prove  this  life  (what  no  one  doubts)  a  short  one; 
Or  fall  in  love,  when  little  has  been  said  ; 

Or  break  his  mistress'  heart,  if  he  has  caught  one ; 
So  Jemmy  Grove,  in  less  than  half  an  hour, 
Was  a  gone  case,  beyond  redemption's  power. 
12 


178  BARBARA  ALLEN. 


XVIII. 

He  hied  him  home,  and  straightway  went  to  bed, 
And  put  all  things  in  order  for  a  session, 

Refused  his  dinner,  and  tied  up  his  head, 

Complained  of  shivering,  heartache,  and  oppres 
sion. 

'Twould  not  be  long  before  he  should  be  dead  ; 
Such  was  his  first,  and  now  his  last  impression  ; 

He  once  had  entertained  some  hopes  to  move  her, 

But  now  the  case  was  clear,  and  all  was  over. 

XIX. 

When  Barbara  Allen  heard  how  things  were  going, 
She  called  and  left  her  card  upon  his  mother  ; 

She  would  not  venture  in  ;  the  wind  was  blowing, 
And  of  all  things  she  most  disliked  a  pother. 

'Twould  not  be  proper  in  a  lady  going 
To  call  upon  a  man,  unless  her  brother  ; 

If  he  must  die,  'twas  so  much  more  the  pity, 

But  deaths  were  common  now  in  every  city. 


BARBARA  ALLEN. 

— • — 

xx. 

So  then  "  he  turned  his  face  unto  the  wall," 
Eefused  all  nourishment,  and  fell  to  weeping  ; 

He  hoped  he  soon  might  be  released  from  thrall ; 
He  felt  his  latter  end  was  o'er  him  creeping  ; 

'Twas  some  small  comfort  that  she'd  know  it  all, 
When  his  poor  bones  beneath  the   sod  were 
sleeping ; 

And  so  he  died  in  true  old  lover  fashion, 

The  victim  of  an  unrequited  passion. 

XXI. 

When  Barbara  heard  the  final,  fatal  news, 
She  turned  a  little  pale,  and  then  she  sighed, 

And,  bending  down  her  head,  began  to  muse, 
Then  took  her  cambric  handkerchief,  and  cried. 

'Twas  hard  a  constant  youth  so  ill  to,  use  ; 
She  almost  wished  that  she  herself  had  died. 

Then  came  the  vision  back  of  old  alliance, 

When  youthful  Jemmy  brought  the  dandelions, 


180  BARBARA  ALLEN. 


XXII. 

Disastrous  love  is  quite  a  bad  complaint, 
And  sometimes  fatal,  as  the  poets  say  ; 

At  any  rate,  it  brings  a  feeling  faint, 

And  may  grow  worse  at  almost  any  day.    . 

To  stand  against  it  one  must  be  a  saint, 
Or  hardened  sinner  in  that  sort  of  play ; 

For  troubled  love  creates  a  great  confusion, 

Extremely  trying  to  the  constitution. 

XXIII. 

But  Barbara  now  was  singularly  placed, 
A  case  of  love  and  conscience  complicated, 

Of  which  the  memory  could  not  be  effaced, 
Nor  the  enormity  be  well  abated  : 

To  die  just  so  might  not  be  in  good  taste  ; 
But  then  it  seemed  as  if  the  thing  were  fated  ; 

And  when  her  senses  seemed  about  to  leave  her, 

She  woke  one  morning  in  a  raging  fever. 


BARBARA  ALLEX.  181 


XXIV. 


The  Scarlet  doctors  were  convened  together, 

To  sit  in  consultation  on  the  case, 
And  chiefly  to  decide  the  question  whether 

The  mind  or  body  was  the  morbid  place. 
One  called  it  cold  ;  one  thought  it  was  the  weather  ; 

One  deemed  it  typhus,  from  its  present  face. 
They  feared  it  might  extend  when  it  should  leave 

her, 
And  fill  the  village  with  a  Scarlet  fever. 


XXV. 


But  Barbara  felt  the  whole  disease  was  love, 
And  found  her  strength  fast  giving  way  before  it ; 

And  when  she  raved,  she  called  on  Jemmy  Grove, 
Sent  for  a  dandelion  flower,  and  wore  it. 

A  last  repentance  no  one  could  reprove  ; 

Death  was  at  hand  ;  'twas  useless  to  ignore  it  • 

She  warned  all  maids  against  the  sin  she  fell  in, 

And  died  at  last  repentant  Barbara  Allen. 


182  BARBARA  ALLEN. 


MORAL. 

Let  all  wise  farmers  and  all  men  of  sense 
Give  this  sad  tale  a  due  consideration  ; 

And  then  allow  themselves  on  no  pretence 
To  give  their  girls  an  over  education  ; 

It  quite  upsets  their  giddy  heads,  and  hence 

May  give  them  notions  much  above  their  station  ; 

And  ends,  at  last,  in  all  the  ends  attending 

Mistaken  tastes,  and  broken  hearts  past  mending. 


all  Street  dfolope. 

(J 


(183) 


J  had  forgot,  —  three  months  —  you  told  me  so  — 

Well  then  —  your  bond ;  and  let  me  see  —  But  hear  you ;  — 

Methought  you  said  you  neither  lend  nor  borrow 

Upon  advantage. 

SHAKSPEARE,  MERCHANT  OF  VENICE. 


(184) 


A  WALL   STREET  ECLOGUE. 

BY   T.  W.  P. 
MELIBOEUS. 

Tj^RIEND  Tityrus,  you  reclining  here  at  ease, 
•*-     With  much  or  little  business,  as  you  please, 
Rent  a  large  office,  fit  for  those  that  win, 
With  anterooms,  to  take  your  pigeons  in  ; 
A  man  of  capital  and  good  renown, 
Giving  big  dinners  in  your  house  up  town, 
With  a  snug  country  box,  made  fast  for  life, 
And  a  gay  turnout  for  your  faster  wife  ;  — 
Say  how  you  got  and  keep  these  golden  eggs, 
When  we,  poor  dogs,  can  hardly  keep  our  legs  ; 
When  stocks  are  down,  and  notes  are  falling  due, 
And  money  can't  be  borrowed  —  even  of  you. 

(185) 


186  A  WALL  STREET  ECLOGUE. 


T  I  T  Y  K  U  S  . 

0  Meliboeus,  you  surprise  me  sore  ;  — 

1  thought  you  knew  a  thing  or  two,  before. 
In  this  great  city,  famed  for  doubtful  play, 
"Where  ups  and  downs  are  common  every  day, 
A  knowing  broker,  like  the  quick-nosed  shark, 
Should  swim  attendant  on  the  sinking  bark. 
Cargoes  are  lightened  ere  the  ship  goes  down, 
And  debtors  yield  their  trunks  before  they  drown. 
A  certain  decency  forbids  neglect, 

And  notes  and  bills,  though  doubtful,  claim  respect. 
A  great  deal  may  be  done  with  little  said  ; 
Corpses  look  best  when  shaved  before  they're  dead. 

MELIBCEUS. 

Of  notes  and  bills  most  heartily  I'm  sick  ; 

I've  cried  them  down,  and  shaved  them  to  the 

quick  ; 

And  when  I  thought  a  fortune  safe  in  store, 
The  things  turned  out  more  worthless  than  before. 


A  WALL  STREET  ECLOGUE.  187 


TlTTBUS. 

Get  an  indorser,  some  confederate  duck, 
Whose  name,  just  now,  is  up  for  skill  and  luck  ; 
Crack  up  the  note,  and  cite  its  various  props, 
But  take  good  care  to  sell  it  ere  he  stops. 
In  most  transactions  of  impending  doubt 
You  can't  be  too  quick  in,  nor  too  quick  out. 

MELIBffitTS. 

I  deal  in  articles  of  staple  worth  ; 

Good  solvent  stocks,  indorsements,  and  so  forth. 

I  never  like  to  make  a  thing  my  own 

Till  some  intrinsic  value  can  be  shown. 

TlTYRUS. 

I  deal  in  fancies,  though  not  worth  a  sous, 
Yet  such  as  keep  some  glorious  prize  in  view  ; 
In  mines  of  copper,  gold,  and  diamonds  rough, 
A  fortune  sure  to  those  who  dig  —  enough  ; 
In  rotten  railroads,  that  keep  running  yet 
With  heavy  loads  of  merchandise  and  debt ; 


188  A  WALL  STREET  ECLOGUE. 


Forced  to  put  up  with  loss,  and  wear  and  tear, 
But  never  venturing  to  put  up  their  fare  ; 
In  damaged  steamers,  when  the  worn-out  ship 
May  keep  afloat,  perhaps,  for  one  more  trip  ; 
In  banks  filled  up  with  loads  of  paper  trash, 
Whose  own  directors  borrow  all  the  cash  ; 
In  manufactures  managed  by  your  friends, 
Agents,  not  owners,  bagging  dividends  ; 
In  lands  which  give,  when  retailed  by  the  foot, 
Your  money  back,  and  fifty  fold  to  boot ; 
Enough  to  put  an  end  to  all  the  troubles 
Of  wanton  boys,  who  like  to  swim  on  bubbles. 

MELIBCETJS. 

I  laud  the  Bears,  who  sift  all  worthless  stuff, 
Xnd  talk  it  down,  to  buy  it  low  enough. 
Few  things  are  saddled  with  so  deep  a  curse 
That  dexterous  croaking  cannot  make  them  worse. 
Refuse  at  first,  yet  buy  before  you  sup  : 
Things  flattest  down  are  soonest  looking  up. 


A  WALL  STREET  ECLOGUE.  189 


TlTYRUS. 

I  love  the  Bulls,  who  give  their  generous  care 
To  keep  the  falling  stocks  at  prices  fair  ; 
Whose  liberal  eyes  can  see  redeeming  traits 
In  things  past  hope,  and  ruined,  spite  of  fates ; 
Who  flit  about,  benign  as  fairy  elves, 
And  crack  up  things  that  soon  must  crack  them 
selves  ; 

Who  uphold  bubbles  of  all  names  and  sorts, 
With  kind  regard  in  reference  to  the  shorts. 

MELIBCEUS. 

Once  to  my  desk  a  brother  broker  came, 
Told  his  sad  tale,  and  so  I  lent  my  name. 
Fool  that  I  was  ;  ere  three  weeks  had  gone  by 
The  villain  was  hard  up,  —  and  so  was  I. 

TlTYKUS. 

And  at  my  doors  a  greenhorn  late  appeared  — 
A  tempting  case  —  an  heir  without  a  beard. 


190  A  WALL  STREET  ECLOGUE. 


His  money  seemed  to  jingle  as  he  went, 
Like  bubbling  boilers,  wanting  only  vent. 
He  heard  the  ready  was  in  great  demand, 
And  ten  per  cent  a  month  was  paid  off  hand  ; 
He  wished  to  act  distinctly  for  the  best, 
So  merely  begged  I'd  help  him  to  invest. 
His  doubtful  case  I  pondered  long  and  well, 
Reflecting  much  on  all  I  had  to  sell ; 
I  took  his  gold,  and  gave  him  notes  instead  — 
I  think  he  since  has  wished  himself  in  bed. 
When  next  he  came  to  tax  me  with  my  crimes, 
I  preached  a  sermon  on  the  horrid  times. 

MELIBCEUS. 

Thanks,  worthy  Tityrus,  for  your  counsels  grave  ; 
I'll  try  to  be  more  sharp,  when  next  I  shave. 

TlTYBTJS. 

My  customers  appear  —  they  look  perplexed  — 
Be  seated,  gentlemen.     Sir,  'tis  your  turn  next. 


(191) 


Lorsque  se  mirent  en  bon  ordre  et  bien  serrez.     Et  Pan- 
tagruel  tira  sa  langue  seulement  a  demy,  et  les  en  couvrit  com- 

me  une  geline  faict  ses  poulletz. 

RABELAIS. 

(192) 


THE  AMERICAN   CONGRESS. 

BY   G.  W.  B. 

T  ET  the  Capitol  be  opened — the  spangled  ban- 

ner  flung ; 
Let  every  patriot  rally  now,  prepared  to  use  his 

tongue. 
A  stream  is  moving  up  the  steps,  and  entering  in 

the  door  ; 
Columbia  calls  her   deep-mouthed  sons  forthwith 

to  take  the  floor. 

~» 
MAINE,  from  her  farthest  borders,  sends  her  first 

exulting  shout ; 

Her  deep  pine  timber  lands  have  let  some  knotty 
members  out. 
13 


194  THE  AMERICAN  CONGRESS. 


NEW  HAMPSHIRE,  on  her  granite  hills,  has  acted 

as  was  fit ; 
She  sends  no  representatives  but  what  are  found 

true  grit. 
VERMONT,  with  her  Green  Mountain  Boys,  gives  a 

triumphant  cheer ; 
You'll  find  them  not  so  very  green,  when  once  you 

get  them  here. 
Old  MASSACHUSETTS  moves  along,  a  frigate  under 

sail, 
Prepared  to  harpoon  any  thing  that's  very  like  a 

whale. 
RHODE  ISLAND  promptly  toes  the  mark,  equipped 

for  peace  or  war, 
With   Roger  Williams  on  her  flag,  —  and  also 

Thomas  Dorr. 
CONNECTICUT  accepts  the  gage,  intent  to  bandy 

knocks 
For  the  birthplace  of  old  Barnum  and  the  land  of 

wooden  clocks. 


THE  AMERICAN  CONGRESS.  195 


NEW  YORK  pours  in  her  hards  and  softs,  and  fifty 
factions  more  ; 

She'll  have  a  dozen  newer  names  before  the  year  is 
o'er. 

NEW  JERSEY  sends  her  oystermen  on  patriotic 
cruise ; 

You'd  think  again  that  Monmouth  field  or  Tren 
ton  was  let  loose. 

Great  PENNSYLVANIA  in  the  midst  her  sturdy  sons 
turns  out, 

To  fight  for  coal  and  iron  mines,  for  whiskey  and 
sour  krout. 

And  DELAWARE  from  her  just  claim  will  not  abate 
a  tittle, 

But  glories  in  (what  none  gainsay)  the  sobriquet 
of  "  little." 

Embracing  in  her  ambient  arms  the  mighty  Chesa 
peake, 

Old  MARYLAND  comes  forward  next,  and  claims 
her  chance  to  speak. 


196  THE  AMERICAN  CONGRESS. 


VIRGINIA,  old  Virginia,  —  Virginny  never  tire  ; 
Her  Tuckahoes,  if  need  should  be,  can  raise  their 

voices  higher. 

NORTH  CAROLINA,  too,  the  land  of  tar  and  rosin, 
Will  send  you  light-wood  orators,  to  flash  up  by 

the  dozen. 

SOUTH    CAROLINA,  with  her  chivalry  and  thun 
der, 
Will  show  her  teeth  and  nullify,  but  don't  mean  to 

knock  under. 
Old   Oglethorpe's   dominion,  the  empire  of  the 

south, 
Means  to  defend  her  GEORGIAN  rights,  even  at  the 

stumper's  mouth ; 
While  ALABAMA'S  younger  state,  that  rapidly  has 

got  on, 
Will  raise  her  voice  at  any  time  to  raise  the  price 

of  cotton. 
Then  FLORIDA,  that  flowery  land,  may  well  be 

called  celestial, 


THE  AMERICAN  CONGRESS.  197 


Her  pools  and  everglades  have  left  so  little  of  ter 
restrial. 

Rough  MISSISSIPPI  still  repudiates  and  blusters, 

Blest  land  of  cotton  and  of  corn,  nor  less  of  filli- 
busters. 

LOUISIANA  in  proud  state  her  bayous  keeps  in 
view  ; 

"When  logs  and  rafts  are  all  removed,  perhaps 
she'll  go  it  through. 

Huge  TEXAS,  largest  in  extent,  though  young  by 
annexation, 

Thinks  old  Sam  Houston  quite  enough  to  vivify  a 
nation ; 

And  ARKANSAS,  that  rowdy  state,  where  cards  are 
still  the  passion, 

In  toothpicks  and  in  Bowie  knives  claims  to  have 
set  the  fashion. 

Upon  her  broad  and  rushing  stream  MISSOURI  next 
reposes, 

The  rallying  place  of  compromise: — now  threat 
ening  bloody  noses. 


198  THE  AMERICAN  CONGRESS. 


Old  TENNESSEE,  a  glorious  land  for  horses,  men, 

and  cattle, 

Once  followed  General  Jackson  down  to  New  Or 
leans  to  battle. 
KENTUCKY  rises  on  our  sight,  the  honored  and 

abhorred ; 
The  land  of  generous  Henry  Clay,  the  land  of 

Matthew  Ward. 
From  mighty  lake  to  river  broad,  where  railroads 

take  their  birth, 
OHIO  stretches  north  and  south  its  corn  producing 

earth. 
Broad  INDIANA'S   Hoosier   sons  her  fame    must 

needs  keep  good, 
By  healthful  sport  of  rolling  logs  and  stumping 

in  the  wood. 
The   prairies    of  old   ILLINOIS,  where   buffaloes 

roamed  of  yore, 
Have  driven  them,  and  Mormons  off,  and  mean  to 

keep  the  floor. 


THE  AMERICAN  CONRRESS.  199 


The  lake-encircled  MICHIGAN  already  proves  too 

great; 
Her  ONTONAGON  copper  fields  must  form  another 

state. 
Far  off,  in  northern  latitudes,  and  skirting  to  the 

west, 
Of   rough  and  tumble  lumber  men   WISCONSIN 

sends  the  best. 
Young  IOWA,  exuberant  in  her  soil,  as  well  as 

men, 
Shall  spread  her  future  millions  west,  beyond  the 

farthest  ken, 

Till  on  the  broad  Pacific  generations  yet  untold 
Shall  spend  their  strength,  and  lose  their  lives,  for 

CALIFOBNIAN  gold. 

6ome  on,  ye  stump  men  eloquent,  in  never-ending 

stream, 
Let  office  be  your  glorious  goal,  and  Bunkum  be 

your  theme ; 


200  THE  AMERICAN  CONGRESS. 


The  vast  and  vaulted  Capitol  shall  echo  to  your 

jaws, 
And  universal  Yankeedom  shall  shout  in  your 

applause ! 


(201) 


What  yesternight  our  council  did  decree 
In  forwarding  this  dear  expedience. 

SHAKSPEARE,  KING  HENRY  IV. 

(202) 


AN  INDIGNATION  MEETING. 

BY  THE    COMPANY. 
OPENING   THE   MEETING. 

bards,  fellow  reptiles,  and  grovellers 

in  dust,. 

The  down-trodden  victims  of  ill-reposed  trust ; 
Defrauded,  deceived,  and  betrayed  in  your  right ; 
Wronged,  wretched,  and  rabid ;  thrice  welcome 

to-night ! 
Let  the  sky,  earth,  and  ocean  attest  what  you 

feel ; 

Let  the  far  Eocky  Mountains  reecho  your  peal. 
It  is  moved,  as  a  prelude  to  open  the  fight, 
That  Phoebus  McGrumble  be  chairman  to-night. 

(203) 


204  AN  INDIGNATION  MEETING. 


3Tis  a  vote.     Now  lead  off  with  your  bursts  and 

your  sallies. 
Three  cheers  for  Me  Grumble !     Three  groans  for 

the  Palace ! 

{Cheers  and  groans.) 

CHAIEMAN. 

Good  friends,  sweet  friends,  let  me  not  stir  you  up 

To  any  sudden  act  before  you  sup. 

Accept  my  thanks.     You'll  find  me  stanch  and 

true. 

I've  seen  your  grievances,  and  felt  them  too. 
Let  circumspection  be  your  wary  guide, 
And  heaven-eyed  prudence  linger  at  your  side  ; 
Then  a  new  era  shall  dawn  forth  to-night, 
And  vengeance,  slow,  but  sure,  o'ertake  the  right. 
On  rhyming  gibbets  reared  athwart  the  sky, 
Shall  tyrants  and  defrauders  dangle  high. 
Till  men  shall  learn  who  handle  us  so  shabbily, 
Tis  rash  to  beard  the  "  genus  irritabile." 

(Applause.") 


AN  INDIGNATION  MEETING.  205 


FIRST   SPEAKER. 

Howl,  howl,  howl,  howl !   0,  ye  are  men  of  granite, 
And  slavery's  curse  has  choked  your  throats  to 
night  ! 
You  and  your  foes  still  ride  the  self-same  planet, 

Nor  dare  you  bolt  for  liberty  and  right. 
Kidnapping  fiends  have  caught  you  in  their  man 

net;  — 
"Why  sleep  the  hounds  of  havoc,  blood  and  fight  ? 

(Great  applause.) 
SECOND   SPEAKER. 

Let  them  alone !     Unerring  vengeance  waits ! 

Their  doom  is  fixed ;   even  now  their  fate  is 

near. 
A  funeral  cavalcade  assails  their  gates ! 

"See,  how  they  shake  with  fear  ! 
A  spectre  horse  awaits  each  mother's  son, 
And,  will  or  nill,  their  death  ride  is  begun. 

(Sensation.) 


206  AN  INDIGNATION  MEETING. 


THIRD    SPEAKER. 

For  spectral  steeds  let  others  wait ; 

For  one,  I  heed  them  not ; 
I  go  for  instantaneous  right ; 

For  Lynch  law  on  the  spot. 
A  ride,  indeed !  when  we,  poor  bards, 

Roughshod  are  ridden  down. 
A  rail !  a  rail !  with  valiant  guards. 

To  shake  them  round  the  town  ! 

(Violent  applause.) 
FOURTH   SPEAKER. 

Rushing  over  pavements, 

Trotting  through  the  street, 
Jolting  up  and  down  on 

Rather  cruel  seat ; 
Angry  mob  persist  in 

Going  it  ahead ; 
But  for  name  of  riding, 

Better  be  abed. 

(Applause  and  laughter,"} 


AN  INDIGNATION  MEETING.  207 


FIFTH  SPEAKER. 

Alas !  good  friends,  what  fury  fills  your  brain ! 
Shall  deeds  of  madness  this  occasion  stain  ? 
0,  be  it  mine  to  check  the  threatened  slaughter, 
And  quench  the  kindling  flames  with  milk  and 

water. 

Sweet  non-resistance,  that,  on  Jordan's  side, 
Through  cool  Cephissus  pour'st  thy  balmy  tide, 
Thee  we  invoke  to  help  us  to  endure 
The  weight  of  ills  we  know  not  how  to  cure. 

{Silence,  with  some  hisses.) 
SIXTH   SPEAKER. 

They  sleep,  they  sleep!     Our  tyrants  take  their 

snooze, 

Floored  by  the  croak  of  Jeremiah's  muse  ! 
Let  Heliconian  drugs  their  doze  prolong, 
And  steep  their  ear  drums  in  Lethean  song. 
I  move  a  serenade  in  middle  night, 
When  owl-like  bards  their  verses  shall  recite  ; 


208  AN  INDIGNATION  MEETING. 


Beneath  the  strains  of  such  lethargic  cant 
They'll  sleep  till  doomsday  with  the  dismal  chant. 

(Silence  and  yawning.) 

SEVENTH   SPEAKER. 

I  go  for  stumping.     Take  them  in  the  bud, 
Ere  lenient  judges  overlook  their  crime  ; 

Pelt  them  with  slang,  bespatter  them  with  mud, 
Cry  havoc,  and  let  loose  the  dogs  of  rhyme ! 

Adjourn  this  meeting  for  a  wider  floor, 

A  world's  convention  in  the  Park  at  four ! 

Give  me  a  tub,  and  Ajax  asks  no  more ! 

(Applause.) 
EIGHTH    SPEAKER. 

The  press,  the  press,  to  every  freeman  dear  ! 
The  press  shall  utter,  and  the  world  shall  hear 
What  mighty  wrongs  an  injured  race  can  bear  ; 
What  outraged  faith  outrageous  man  can  dare. 
Let  printing  imps  with  loaded  forms  appear, 
And  serried  columns  charge  them  in  the  rear, 


AN  INDIGNATION  MEETING.  209 


Till  long  lampoons  shall  hunt  the  recreants  down, 
And  general  vengeance  hoot  them  through  the 
town. 

(Three  times  three.") 

SPEAKER  IN   SAPPHIC. 

Why  should  the  men  monopolize  the  floor  here, 
When  there  are  mouths  more  eloquent  than  theirs 

are? 
I,  sir,  for  one,  should  like  to  hear  the  ladies 

Speak  their  opinions. 

(Vehement  applause.} 

Six   SPEAKERS   AT   ONCE. 

1 .  For  woman's  rights  let  woman's  writings  speak  ! 

2.  For  woman's  wrongs  let  injured  woman  shriek  ! 

3.  Do  not  our  volumes  load  the  vender's  shelves? 

4.  Let  Tom  and  Ida  answer  for  themselves  I 

5.  For  mercy  now  the  Palace  sues  in  vain  ! 

6.  Deceived  for  once,  we  trust  not  man  again  ! 

14  (Nine  cheers  for  the  ladies.") 


210  AN  INDIGNATION  MEETING. 


NINTH   SPEAKER. 

Friends,  victims,  and  countrymen,  rise,  one  and  all. 
United  we  stand,  or  divided  we  fall ! 
Let  our  faithless  oppressors  be  told  to  their  loss 
That  we  spurn  their  base  gold,  and  reject  it  as 

dross ; 
Let  a  basket  be  brought,  (I  should  like  to  begin 

it;) 

Let  all  your  piece-offerings  be  tumbled  within  it ; 
The  precious  result  shall  astound  them  at  least 
When  it  streams  from  the  press,  like  a  light  from 

the  east ; 

When  the  public  shall  hasten  to  lavish  their  gold, 
And  award  us  the  prize  which  these  niggards  with 
hold. 

(A  basket  is  brought,  and  immediately  fitted.') 

The  avails  we'll  divide,  whether  cash,  lands,  or 

houses, 
And  the  shares  of  the  ladies  shall  go  to  their 

spouses. 

(Tumuli.) 


AN  INDIGNATION  MEETING.  211 


TEN   SPEAKERS   AT   ONCE. 

1.  Must  woman's  rights  be  trampled  under  feet? 

2.  Shall  wives  earn  bread,  that  worthless  drones 

may  eat  ? 

3.  I'll  rouse  'gainst  man  my  intellectual  strength ! 

4.  I'll  cut  my  costume  to  a  bloomer's  length ! 

5.  No  verse  of  mine  shall  on  such  terms  abide ! 

6.  Nor  mine  !     7.  Nor  mine !     8.  Nor  any  one's 

beside ! 

(  The  ladies  indignantly  withdraw  their  contributions.') 
CHAIRMAN. 

My  dear,  good  ladies,  but  a  moment  stay. 
Alas !  you  bear  our  chiefest  prize  away ! 
Too  oft,  in  sooth,  our  hapless  race  has  known 
It  is  not  good  for  man  to  be  alone. 
A  single  life,  God  knows,  we  all  abhor  ; 
How,  single-handed,  can  we  breast  this  war  ? 

(Ladies  still  frown) 


212  AN  INDIGNATION  MEETING. 


(To  the  Gentlemen.') 

Dejected  listeners,  earth's  forlornest  hope, 

I  give  your  choice,  the  laurel  or  the  rope. 

If  quite  despairing  at  rebuffs  like  these, 

There  swings  the  cord,  and  yonder  wave  the  trees. 

But,  if  as  men  you  dare  assert  the  right, 

Close  your  thinned  ranks,  and  recommence   the 

fight; 

Raise  one  great  pasan  in  the  cause  of  song, 
Grasp  the  green  bays,  and  publish,  right  or  wrong  ; 
Hang  out  your  banner  on  the  outward  wall, 
Blow  your  horn-blasts,  till  Jericho  shall  fall. 
Then  fields  shall  smile  beneath  the  Muses'  reign, 
And  years  Saturnian  glad  the  world  again  ; 
Relenting  ladies  shall  your  deeds  approve, 
And  earth  grow  green  with  poetry  and  love. 

(Exeunt  ladies  and  gentlemen,  arm  in  arm.) 


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